Hi this is my first time doing anything like this but I’m always having trouble sleeping and thought it might help me to talk about things - I just keep replaying my dad’s final days before he passed every time I get into bed at night and wonder if anyone has any advice on how I might move forward from this - thanks
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Hi @Boogie firstly I am sorry for your loss. I’m fairly new here too after recently losing my mom. Do you talk about your dad during the day at all, or do you find yourself bottling it all up? Just wondering if that is why you think about it at night the most. This may or may not be helpful but at bedtime I have started to listen to calming music, relaxation, things like ASMR etc…just from youtube with my earphones in. To help relax but also distract if that is at all possible. It could be that you need to talk about your dad more often or openly throughout the day. Just remember there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Please be kind to yourself and allow yourself time to process it all.
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It’s been 24 days since my partner Blaise died, I don’t think I have slept since. I am getting by with 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there, but I am just lying here, I don’t know what to do. It’s like I have forgotten how to sleep.
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If you google cognitive shuffling this might help. The Doctor recommended this to me. Sending love x
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Thank you so much for your message- I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom 
I do talk about my dad sometimes during the day etc but I’m also just going through the day time pretty numb - it’s almost like I ignore the enormity of his loss during the day but it always comes to me at night when everything is still - so I end up having to get back out of bed and come downstairs distracting myself usually on various social media (which I know isn’t relaxing but is distracting) until I feel exhausted. I should try relaxing sounds etc as you suggest instead and see if that helps although I suspect that this is part of the grieving process and you just have to wait until it eventually becomes easier - thanks again - take care
I’m so sorry for your loss - losing a partner must be an entirely different loss so much more intense I must imagine. My Dad had been diagnosed with terminal cancer a year before he passed and was 84 and so there was an element of acceptance that this was coming and also to see his suffering stop was some comfort- also despite having a very close relationship with my Dad and helping mum care for him - it’s not the same as losing your “life partner” someone your whole entire life revolves around and is intertwined with - who you see everyday etc so that kind of loss is so apparent- their absence is just everywhere - distractions must be so much more difficult- I’m so sorry that you’re going through this and wish you peace
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Will do - thank you
I think at the end of the day grief is grief. The person you want is not there anymore, I lost my dad 6 years ago to lung cancer. Sometimes it feels like he died yesterday, I could really do with him now.
What I’m saying is we are all going through the same thing more or less. I don’t know if it actually helps but chatting on hear does pass time if nothing else, you look after yourself, take care. If you up and can’t sleep, feel free to say hello.
I can’t sleep at night and am exhausted by day. When i do sleep, i wake at the slightest sound and leap to my feet. I think I’ve heard a noise which means my Mum needs to get up. I’ve been to the doctor and they basically said to get counselling and not to bother them. I’ve tried long walks. Ive tried boring tv. I can’t concentrate to do anything like read. So i feel for you, as it sounds like you are going through something similar. Maybe time will help us? Looking forward is so hard though.
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You are so right, it’s like you go through the day on autopilot, numb to the world, and what little sleep you do get does nothing.
I hope it gets easier for all of you.