It’s been ten weeks since my grandad died very suddenly and traumatically. These ten weeks are what I can only describe as torturous and hellish.
He was only 68 and should have had a lot longer.
I can’t seem to stop the tears I’m afraid. I cry at least once a day when I have some time to myself and the reality seems to sink in that I’ll never see him again. The guilt, the bargaining, the agony all seem to be resting on my chest and I just can’t stop the tears.
I know crying is healthy but I just find myself very exhausted. I think the only time I’m at peace is when I’m asleep. But we all have to face the day. It’s very hard.
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your grandad and for the immense pain you’re going through. Grief can feel unbearable at times, especially when someone you love is taken so suddenly and unexpectedly. It’s completely natural to feel the way you do—there’s no timeline or right way to grieve. The crying, the exhaustion, the weight on your chest—it’s all part of how deeply you loved him and how much he meant to you.
Your grandad was so young, and it’s unfair that he didn’t have more time. It’s okay to feel the sorrow, the guilt, and even the anger at the injustice of it all. But I want to remind you that you’re not alone in this. So many people have been in a place of deep grief like yours, and they’ve found ways to keep moving forward—not by “getting over” the loss but by learning to carry it with them. You will, too, even though it doesn’t feel like it right now.
Please try to be gentle with yourself. Grief is exhausting, both physically and emotionally, and it’s okay to rest when you need to. If you find some peace in sleep, let yourself have that—it’s your body’s way of helping you heal bit by bit. And if facing the day feels overwhelming, try to break it down into just the next step, and then the one after that.
Would it help to talk to someone about this—a trusted friend, family member, or even a counselor? Sometimes just saying the words out loud can help ease the weight you’re carrying.
You’re doing the best you can in an incredibly hard situation. Your grandad must have been so special, and the love you feel for him is a testament to that. Be kind to yourself as you navigate this journey. You’re allowed to grieve in your own way and in your own time. Sending you so much strength and compassion.
You don’t know how much your words mean to me Kalaila. We brought my grandad home today in his urn so today has been downright horrid but reading your words has brought me a lot of comfort.
You’re right. It’s never something I’ll be able to get over, but rather I have to carry my grandad and his memories with me. It’s a bit scary because I always think about the future. Like wow when I’m fifty I won’t have felt my grandads hand or smelled him or hugged him in twenty four years. And I think it’s very easy to get bogged down.
I do have the support of family and very obviously my mum who is just devastated. I’ll try and be kind to myself - try and get my head round the guilt I have. Until the day I meet my grandad again.
Thank you so much for responding to my message and being a positive light on a very sad day.
I’m 15 months in and still get emotional when I think about my childhood and mum. I lost her last August. I’m not crying everyday but the emotions are still there and probably will be there till I die.
Hi @Choccy. First of all, I am so so sorry to hear of the loss of your dear Grandad and what you’re going through . Grief is different for everyone, and remember it’s ok to cry. I lost my Grandad suddenly in Feb this year, and I randomly cry out of the blue. I long to see him again and like you, i’m struggling with how I’ll never see him again. The pain is indescribable and not a day goes by where my Grandad isn’t in my thoughts. I’ve even put his photo as my lock screen on my phone just so I can see him everyday. I’m sending you my love xxx
I’m sorry about your mum Keith - losing a parent must be like losing a part of yourself. I think that’s what many people have said who have been experienced profound grief. Theres never a time you’ll feel truly happy or be able to ‘overcome it’. It’s something that we’ll have forever. It can be hard to handle. And it’s difficult to carry on without them.
I’m sorry about your grandad Katie x Grief is a very individual journey but we’re all united by how horrible it is to experience.
I think that is what’s the worst pain - just the missing them. Honestly it’s like having a big gaping horrible hole in my chest. I’m really sorry that you’re going through the same pain. But it’s very evident that your grandad was very loved. Sending lots of love too x
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
. Grief is different for everyone, and remember it’s ok to cry. I lost my Grandad suddenly in Feb this year, and I randomly cry out of the blue. I long to see him again and like you, i’m struggling with how I’ll never see him again. The pain is indescribable and not a day goes by where my Grandad isn’t in my thoughts. I’ve even put his photo as my lock screen on my phone just so I can see him everyday. I’m sending you my love xxx