Hello @Roman111 and everyone else,
So sorry for all your losses.
I also lost my mum 6 months ago, I lost my dad 23 years ago, but the loss of my mum well I don’t think anything can prepare you.
People just don’t understand unless they have experienced it, I am broken, I have no idea how I manage to get up every morning and go to work ( I only work part time, 4.5 hours a day) I do have some great support there, shame HR aren’t as understanding, she makes me feel like my grief should be all done and dusted.
My mum, my best friend, I miss her so much.
I’m starting my 10 sessions of counselling in August so I’m hoping that will help me.
I find it does help reading other peoples stories on here, its good to know we are not alone.
Big love to you all 
I am so sorry for your loss! It just breaks my heart knowing that there are so many people going through this but as much as it pains me to say this a relief that I am not on my own. (I hope no one takes offence to the last part I didn’t mean in any horrible way)
We don’t have an HR at my work but my boss has been completely amazing I think because her daughter lost her dad around the same age as me a couple of years ago she understands what I am going through she even says that just because “I am you’re boss, you are still one of my girls” and these past few weeks she has really shown me that. But as much as I have love and support I still feel alone it’s really hard to explain, I feel like I am drowning and I find it very hard to talk to those closest to me.
May I ask? Who are your counselling sessions with? And I’m assuming there is a wait list as I’ve tried to look at some and no one is taking on anyone new. I’d rather do face to face than over the phone if possible but I understand that can’t always be the case.
Recommendations would be highly appreciated.
Again I am so sorry everyone. Hopefully one day we can all come through this and remember our loved ones for the better.
Hi,
I just wanted to jump back in to say that I found counselling so helpful. I’d go as far to say that it was a lifesaver. It helped me cope in those early weeks and is still helping now. Having someone outside of your family, friends etc to talk to is something everyone should have.
I’m so sorry you lost your mum too, it really is something you can’t comprehend unless you’ve been through it. I’ve never experienced grief like this. It’s so heavy and constant.
It’s a sad truth that we are not alone but it does make you feel less adrift from the world when you read everyone else’s stories.
Sending love to everyone x
I’ve been on a waiting list for 6 months, and its through the hospice that had come in to give palliative care, well I say that all the arrangements had been made and they had just tweeked mums medication and mum slipped away in her sleep alone, ( I should have stayed with her all night but we thought we had a couple more weeks 
my sister lives in Devon as does my mums sister and they had come up to see mum, its like she waited to see them because she went in the night. Love her she was my best friend, I cared for her for her last 6 years. She was always telling me that she loved me.
So anyway I’m really hoping it will help and its face to face.
I could talk about her for hours, but I feel like I get on peoples nerves.
Xx
I really pleased to her that it helped you, did go to weekly sessions?
I’m having 10 sessions.
What actually happens, do you just talk about your loss or so they try and change your mindset, I’ve got no idea what to expect.
I find the hardest thing is that the unconditional love has gone 
I’m so sorry to hear that about your mom.
I lost my mom in february and I’m really struggling with anxiety as well, it’s stopping me from doing things I’d normally have no problem doing. The only thing that helps sometimes is going on walks, either really early or late when the streets are super quiet.
Sending you my best xx
The sessions I have can be adjusted. At the start I had weekly sessions but now I have one session a month.
My first session I spoke about what had happened, who I had lost and how I’m currently feeling. It was emotional and painful but after the second session, I knew it was helping. They don’t try to change your mindset as such, it’s just about finding ways to help you cope and process what has happened. What they do will depend on what you need, they’re very flexible.
I really hope it all goes well and you find it helpful. And if you ever want to talk about your mum, don’t hesitate to message me/ keep chatting here. I’d love to hear about her.
Sending love x
Hi Roman,
Sending you love and hugs. I think sometimes it actually helps to sit with the pain. Try to have people you trust ready to help bail you out of what can be a very deep hole.
There is no recipe for grieving- we are all winging it.
You are still here and need to live so plan in things you love to do- it may only be sitting outside with the sun on your face for 10 minutes.
Take care.
Thank you Susie4. Amidst my grief I negotiated my first birthday without mum a few days ago and it was a big one at that. That was very hard at first, and yes I did have another cry; had a lovely relative with me though who comforted me, then went out and had a good time with some other relatives. Don’t think the pain will ever truly go away but have taken steps now to get counselling to talk through and deal with the emotions.