My sister died in January age 45. The devastation has gone through me.
Every day is a huge struggle. I just cry all the time. Will my life ever go back to normal?
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Hello @Daisy46,
I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support. In the meantime, you may wish to look at these Sue Ryder resources which might be helpful.
- Our Grief Guide self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief
- Our free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat
- Our Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through.
You might also want to look at: https://www.sueryder.org/grief-support//experiencing-loss/sibling
I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,
Alex
I’m so very sorry for the loss of your sister. 
I lost my sister aged 38 in October. For me, the first three months were a haze. I was crying every day, often uncontrollably. It felt like a vicious cycle I couldn’t get out of.
These last two months have been slightly better. I wouldn’t say normal, and I honestly think it will be a long time before I can ever say that, but I have been able to find some moments of calm. I think that in some part of my mind, the shock is beginning to lessen, and I’m subconsciously shifting towards a future outlook.
From what I’ve seen people say online, the grieving process moves very differently for different people. All I can say is that for me, time has slowly started to make a small difference. I truly hope that with support you will get through this difficult time. 
Thanks so much for your reply.
I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your sister too. If you don’t mind me asking… was it cancer related? Did she have a family? My sister has 3 children.
Thank you
Hi @Daisy46 . I’m so sorry to hear about your Sister. I lost my older Sister in December to cancer. Every day is different but still so difficult. I find it so hard to think of life without her. It’s only been a few months for me and I wouldn’t say it’s gotten any easier yet. Certain things trigger deep sadness all the time, a song on the radio, a photo on my phone. Even a sunny day hurts so much as I know how much she loved the Summer. Please give yourself time. I’m trying to do that and just go with the waves of emotion. I’ve only known my life with my Sister until now so it’s going to take a while to navigate it without her beside me. Take care.
She passed away due to complications relating to end-stage kidney failure, and she had one teenage son, he’s 14 years old. It’s devastating that he no longer has his mother, as they were so close. For lots of reasons, I’m quite limited in how I can support him, but I hope that knowing I’m always thinking of him and only a phone call or text away offers some comfort…