I lost my grandmother a few weeks back and I’m struggling.
I’m full of so much anger.
She died of covid which she contracted from other family members.
I’m so mixed between that she had a long long life and was happy and it still wasn’t her time to go yet.
I’m angry at family who allowed her to catch it with their carelessness and I can’t seem to let this go.
I haven’t said anything to them because I know that they are feeling guilty and I don’t exactly want to add to that but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel it.
When ever I say anything to anyone about her passing they normally respond with oh she had a good life and that infuriates me or they tell me if someone that they’ve known that has died and they were exceptionally younger so then I’m left feeling guilty and angry all at the same time.
And obviously this is during lockdown and I can’t do anything to vent…I’m feel like I’m going to explode.
I miss my nan so much and I’ve lost people before but not someone who was at the center of my world and it physically hurts and I don’t know what to do !.
If anyone has any advice on how to to feel better although no I’m not sure there is anything I think I’m just wanting to vent somewhere.