Can't cope


I lost my grandmother a few weeks back and I’m struggling.
I’m full of so much anger.
She died of covid which she contracted from other family members.
I’m so mixed between that she had a long long life and was happy and it still wasn’t her time to go yet.

I’m angry at family who allowed her to catch it with their carelessness and I can’t seem to let this go.
I haven’t said anything to them because I know that they are feeling guilty and I don’t exactly want to add to that but it doesn’t mean I don’t feel it.

When ever I say anything to anyone about her passing they normally respond with oh she had a good life and that infuriates me or they tell me if someone that they’ve known that has died and they were exceptionally younger so then I’m left feeling guilty and angry all at the same time.

And obviously this is during lockdown and I can’t do anything to vent…I’m feel like I’m going to explode.
I miss my nan so much and I’ve lost people before but not someone who was at the center of my world and it physically hurts and I don’t know what to do !.

If anyone has any advice on how to to feel better although no I’m not sure there is anything I think I’m just wanting to vent somewhere.

So sorry at the loss of your grandma. Everyone whoes died of covid has been taken before there time no matter there age.

My condolences to you.
I have just lost my amazing Nan to covid. I feel like my heart is going to explode with pain and Im not sure exactly how I am going to move forward from this.
I understand your pain and frustration at family members, it is very careless of them to pass on. I think right now the situation we are in with lockdown and restrictions is making us all extremely stressed and taking its tole, add losing a lived one into the mix and its going to get much worse.
Personally I think although getting your point across to family members may ease your anger in the short term, it isnt going to take you pain, grief or anger away for good. It may fuel a larger falling out amongst your family that will be later regretted.
By all means advocate for you Nan and ask the family members to have a sit down and ask why were they so careless, if u feel it will help you. I guess the only other thing is giving yourself time