Can't cope

I’m not coping at all at losing my amazing partner who passed away on the 16th November 2020.
We were supposed to get married on 24th May 2020 but it had to be postponed till April this year.
Last September my partner was experiencing chest pains so I called for an ambulance and it took them hour and an half to get out to him.
They put him on the ecg machine and told us that the ecg was normal and they said it was more than likely indigestion.They did advised him to go to hospital but apparently our local hospital had shut their doors so it was an hours travelling to the next nearest hospital. Also they said it would be quicker to take him in the car as more than likely he would be sitting in the back of the ambulance for at least four hours as they see walk in patients first. As my partner also had really bad asthma he was frightened to go into hospital with the covid. So he asked the paramedics whether they thought it was more indigestion than an heart attack so they said they couldn’t rule out a heart attack but more than likely it was indigestion.
After my partner had passed away I had an appointment with the a&e consultant and I showed him the ecg the paramedics had giving me and he told me that the night in September that my partner’s ecg was not normal and he was showing he had a mild heart attack that night.
The most amazing man I know, my soul mate and my best friend could of still been here if the paramedics had picked up on the ecg.
We only moved into our new home sixteen weeks before he passed away.
I’m at a loss and now the sun is shining I feel so low. My partner loved the sun and in a month’s time we were going to get married. I just want him back. I’m going through hell with he’s estranged children who had nothing to do with him up until the day he passed away.

Hello @darbo. I feel your pain for the loss you have suffered. Life can seem so unfair at times. All of us on this forum feel that we have been robbed of our partner for whatever reason and whatever the circumstances. Life is always too short for us and we are never prepared to say goodbye. Please just take one day at a time. Breathe slowly and don’t try to rush anything. There will always be someone to help you with problems so try not to get overwhelmed and please keep posting here.
Love and light. x

@darbo it is so hard after your partner dies when you are not married isn’t it? Unfortunately their children, who are also grieving whether they saw your partner regularly or not, can put you through hell. It is a difficult situation to deal with. I do not know the right or wrong way to cope with the situation for you. I have really struggled with the attitude of my partner’s grown up children. I always made a big effort with them, and am heartbroken at the way I have been treated.