Can't cope

I lost my husband to be on the 16th November. We were due to get married in May 2020 but covid had other idea’s.
We postponed until April 2021. I feel so lost without him and with our wedding date approaching I feel so low. My partner’s children who had nothing to do with him for the last 20 years but when he passed away they want to know him. I have never meet his children up until he passed away. I have been threatening by them they send me nasty messages which now I’ve blocked them. They are nasty to my children. They don’t know me and they are all out to get everything even though there’s a will that’s not stopping them and I don’t know how much more I can take.
Myself and my partner built a life together and we worked hard to what we have got and to lose everything will push me over the edge. As anyone else been in a similar situation as me?

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Dear Darbo

First let me say how sorry I am at your loss. This is a difficult time for anyone without the added stresses of (estranged) family members. I urge you to speak to Citizens Advice they will be able to give you good advise.

Do not be pushed into doing anything by his children. There is a Will and there should be Executors to the Will. Executors are the people who will be responsible for carrying out your partners wishes and for sorting out his estate.

As I say do not let them force you into doing anything. Tell them that you are taking appropriate advice.

Will be thinking of you and sorry you and your children are having to deal with this extra unwanted burden.


@darbo. I am in similar situation, but my partner had good relationship with their children. I not next of kin. Children executors in charge. I have no rights. Don’t mind they inherit. We agreed that. Just wanted more kindness and consideration from them. I tried to be good step-parent. I looked after their parent. They have not checked I am financially alright.
This site has helped me see my grief feelings are experienced by many so had helped that way. I find that most been married for lots of years and nobody in my position. From that point of view I find the site difficult. I wish we had been married a long time. We did not reach wedding. I feel jealous of ones saying been married long time. In some ways for me reading that seems like more torture. I love and miss my partner so much.

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Dear Darbo, I am so sorry for the situation you now find yourself in. Thank goodness you had a will so please don’t be tempted to let his children’s bullying ways make you do anything rash. Stay strong and seek the help of a solicitor or CAB if need be.
Executors can be helpful or useless. For some reason my husband had made his daughter an executor but she didn’t want to know, which I was relieved about as I was capable of dealing with it all myself. I was the only beneficiary and his daughters have now completely ignored me since his death even though I have tried to make contact. I was also supposed to be the executor for my mother and step father’s will but my mother passed first and my step fathers children had me cut out completely and changed the will to their benefit. In the case of my husbands will I was able to take off his daughter name as executor and make a solicitor an executor along with myself if required.
There have been many similar and sad situations written about on this forum and it has been especially awful for partners that have no will. They have lost everything. You have that precious will and the law should be with you. DON’T be intimidated and if the will is in your favour you should not lose anything. Personally I would instruct a solicitor to reply to them and you keep well out of it.
Good luck and let us know how you get on.