Sitting in the sunshine on the village green on a warm day. Looking at everyone in families and groups and couples. I’m just carry on and trying to do things but how can I enjoy this, when I want to turn to my mum and say, isn’t this nice? Not without her. I’m just marking time till i go back to an empty house. I’m trying to distract myself from my grief and fears,and my health problems. Pretending it’s going to be ok. I can’t see how I can make it ok. Using all my bravery to just try and do what it is possible for me to do. Trying to have hope.
Helenci, I have found it very difficult to get enjoyment out of any days since my Mum died suddenly 18 months ago. I should say it’s been nearly impossible to have a good day, but yesterday for once was very pleasant due to the lovely weather. I lived with my Mum and have felt very lost now that she’s gone. I have without a doubt grieved very heavily. I’m trying to now pick myself up a bit, as I sure grief has been very hard on the body.
"Pretending it’s going to be ok " sounds like a very healthy approach for ones wellbeing. Take care.