Can't get on

After losing my husband Michael I can’t get on I have so much to do like cleaning the home sorting out his clothes I still feel very low and I keep I’m trying to get on with my life but I’m keep going backwards


Hello @Lesley19 - welcome to Sue Ryder. Here you have friends who understand how you are feeling and who are with you in your grief - as we are in ours. I know how you feel about the day to day. First thing I learned in grieving for T is this - go at your own pace. If you are not ready to sort out his clothes, then don’t worry. The time will come when you are ready to make that decision. Cleaning the house - important but can be done in little steps. Focus on one room or even one task. Get that done and celebrate it. And leave the rest til you feel like it. Grief is not linear, sadly, we don’t move through it in a logical way. Rather, it is like we are in the spin cycle of the washing machine, going round and round and round. Be gentle on yourself, my friend, this is a long hard road we are walking. But you have the support of the others among us who are also walking this way. Take care.


Hi Lesley19, welcome and I am so sorry for your loss. Vancouver’s words ring very true. What seemed lmportant before now feels like a challenge.
Doug died 13 months ago now, for the last few years he had a number of medical conditions, I used to have the energy to work full time, look after Doug and do all the jobs round the house he could no longer do.
Since he died it’s like a plug on my energy levels has been pulled out and slowly draining away. I don’t know how I did it. Everything now takes much more effort and doesn’t seem so important anymore.
Just do enough to tick by and the rest will come, it’s a journey of one step forward and three back. I’ve learn’t dust is no longer important when you have lost so much more.
Take care, love Debbie X