I lost my mum 22 years go to ovarian and lung cancer.
She was was the most loving and caring person who was the queen of my family, dad was working, mum was running the house and family… mum to 4 kids, nanny to 9 when she passed. She fought courageously for approx 6 months before it was clear that despite her best efforts, she was losing the battle and now it became a waiting game and how comfortable we could make her. Her passing words to me were " I’m so sorry that I wont be able to see you grow up, or meet your future family take care and I will never stop loving you"
I sat with her for the last 3 days of her life and the one small period of time I left the room to shower and change, she passed.
I know people will say that she waited for me to leave before she passed to save upsetting me, but i haven’t ever really spoken to anyone about my feelings and emotions, but now find it’s something that’s still affecting me in a way that I’m now not comfortable with.
Hello Damian75, thanks for sharing how you are feeling with us.
I’m really sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment, but I’m glad that you’ve been able to share how you are feeling here, and I hope that you find the community a good source of support. Everyone here has experienced the loss of a loved one and will understand some of what you are going through.
If you feel you need a little more support, Sue Ryder offers an online bereavement counselling service. This is a free service and sessions are held via video chat so you can attend from home. There’s more information about this service here: www.sueryder.org/counselling.
Damian75 so so sorry to hear about the loss of your beautiful mother. She sounds wonderful and it is never easy losing a parent especially one who is so special to you. I think she probably chose that moment to go to spare you but that doesn’t help your feeling of not being there with her at the end. All I know is, my circumstances were slightly different in that she asked me to help her to the commode but slumped in my arms and I couldn’t believe what had happened. We didn’t say goodbye there was no slipping away and being prepared for it and I know I keep wishing I had had that at the end rather than her trying to go to toilet and it being too much for her heart. I’ve said to myself I shouldn’t have helped move her but nothing can change how it happened and I am trying hard to accept it’s the way it was going to be for whatever reason even if there is one and keeping on moving forward and being kind to myself instead of letting the blame game get it’s way. I hope you can get some online help with the counselling they provide here as it is brilliant and you will I’m sure benefit from it. Many warm wishes and hugs coming your way and remember to be kind to you
So Sorry for your loss,i just get through each day since losing my Mum,and Dad. It will be 4 years on the 1st of September 2021 since she passed,like your Mum,my Mum had a Heart of gold and was so caring. I don’t feel so alone since reading your post,as if after 4 years i still don’t feel myself,if after 22 years you still feel how you feel,i think it is normal at the end of the day,that was your Mum. Thinking of you,would like to chat more,Lucy,Take Care,xxx
