Cant move forward

Hello to you all.

I lost my mam on 1st November 2020, very suddenly - she wasnt poorly. My mam was 71 and my best friend. She was a great Mam Grandma and Wife - simply the best. I havent cried since the funeral on 13th November and feel numb and lost. I slap my Mam face on as i have two young girls who need me. I slap my daughter face on as my dad needs me. I slap my Wife face on as my husband cant come home to Sad Face all the time. I just find everything draining and tiring. I can go to work two days a week as when i walk through the door i forget for the day. That sounds terrible i know.
I said to the lady at Cruse - i dont even think i have accepted her and wanted to know when i would. But like most things everyone is different - so i have no idea. She said i also needed to work through things - but i have no idea how to start.
I keep thinking was there something i could have done.
Would she have shouted out at my dad for help or would she have known nothing (i like to think the latter).
Can she see me and see how i am doing.
Just all so Sad - i am sending Love to all those people who have lost someone
Thank you for listening

1 Like

Hi sarah,

I lost my apparently fit and healthy mum 19 months ago and the loss is still overwhelming.
My mum lived with us and looked after my daughter who was 12 when she died.
She was on the go all day every day and life was good.
She suffered a massive bleed on the brain while in the recovery room from a local anaesthetic.
One of those things, the coroner said.
I still feel shock and cant believe we no longer have her.
Like you there is the mum face and the partner face. I dont have a daughter face as my dad died suddenly 20 years ago.
I completely understand
Cheryl x

Hi Cheryl - thanks for messaging . I am sorry to hear about your mam and am sending you lots of love. It is a very difficult time at the moment with the Covid 19 add on to that peoples grief its a very troubling time.
Take care Sarah

Thankyou Sarah. You too

Hey Sarah, I feel the same as you only it is now 3 years since my mum died. I don’t think I have accepted that she is gone from my life. My husband thinks I should be over it by now and my dad relies on me for support so I totally get it. The occasional time I have a cry, usually when I have watched a film that triggers it, I tell my daughter that I am sad because I miss granny and whenever she sees a feather we say it is from granny’s wings. I feel so disconnected from everything and I just cannot bring myself to face my grief although I know I need to. I have no advice to offer but can lend a friendly ear if you want it. Take very good care of yourself.