Can't see my nan before funeral

I lost my nan suddenly just over a week ago from pneumonia. We are all devastated and miss her dearly. I decided that I wanted to see her before the funeral to say goodbye as I didn’t get the chance too at the time of her passing. However we have now recently found out that she had a covid test done on the 3rd jan but she passed away on the 5th Jan before receiving the results, but been informed results were positive. Therefore they will not allow us to see her and I am so frustrated and upset by this. Not only was we not able to visit her whilst she was in hospital but we now can’t say goodbye the way we wanted. I’m Devastated

This COVID is just dreadful. I’m so sorry. All I can say is that I saw my mum in the chapel of rest and I wished i hadn’t. It did not give me any closure and just left me with a long lasting image I would rather forget. Remember your nan with her happy healthy and alive. I think that’s what she would want for you. Say your own goodbye, you could light a candle, talk to her out loud. . Could you write her a letter and ask the funeral home to place it in her casket?

Hi Star87

Jooles is quite right. I chose not to see my mum and I dont regret it at all, having sat with my dad for hours when we waited for the funeral director to collect his body.
I’m so pleased I have no memory of my mum after she died. I remember her happy and laughing shortly before and thats what I need.
Sorry for your loss.


I feel for you but I think you would be upset to see her after she’s gone. Her spirit will have left . My mums funeral was on the 23rd December and I am still distraught, but I had the most stunning flower arrangement and made sure that the funeral directors placed a rose in my mums coffin.
Your grandma will be watching over you .

Thank you all so much for your messages, I will definitely be writing a note to place in her casket along with a letter, thats a lovely idea and will be able to say everything I wanted on paper x

And don’t forget to put a flower in her casket. Ask the funeral directors to do it

Brilliant idea thank you x

I put photos in with my letter to mum. Photos of happy times. My letter was a proper goodbye letter. And I put in one of my bracelets. Which they put on her wrist. They asked me if I wanted to do it. But i said no. So the lady put it on mums wrist for me. I think you will feel more peace once you have written the letter to put in with her. The lady tucked the letters in mums hands for me. IIt gives me peace that she went to her next life clutching my letter.

Jooles45- that is so beautiful and what a lovely way to say goodbye bye to your mum so thank you for sharing that. I am so sorry you have lost your mum

Star find your own way to say goodbye. But please believe me when I say you don’t need to do that by visiting her. I walked in saw my mum in that coffin and I felt my legs give way. That was not my mum. Her beautiful soul had flown away. It’s just their bodies. There are many ways to say goodbye. You will find the right one. X

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Awwww bless you thank you so much, all the best, stay strong and stay safe x

You too. Xx