Anyone else still awake? I lost my partner of 40 years in April & it seems to be getting worse not better,it’s suddenly really hitting home that I’ll never ever see him again .
4 Likes
Lost mine on sunday i know how your feeling
3 Likes
I woke up 3 am still awake. I had fallen asleep and forgotten to take my tablets. This is normal for me. Emptied dishwasher while I was in kitchen as wide awake. Put pots away. Miss my husband who died Nov 2022. I have felt depressed lately. On Tuesday forced myself to go out but wasn’t good company. Yesterday forced myself again and did me good and met lady at the quizz and tea who was very nice and was looking out for one of my late husbands relatives. I felt much better then. Naturally rain forecast today because watered my garden as my flowers struggling. Mowed front lawn and trimmed bushes because collection this morning. Been knitting squares sewing them to a blanket.
3 Likes
I lost my husband 3 weeks ago, I do get to sleep but find I wake a lot throughout the night and of course everything goes through your mind so it takes a long time to get back to sleep.
I also am awake around 5:30 every morning and have to get up and try to keep myself busy, I think it must be a normal part of the grieving process, after all our lives are now completely different so there’s bound to be anxiety and loneliness and feelings of how am I going to carry on? Life has changed big time!
4 Likes
Hello welshjenny, I too lost my husband in April. Sleeping has not been the same since , initially I was on sleeping meds but I try not to use them regularly now . I’ve used all the stress relief products you can buy and also Alexa and the Sleep Sounds but I will fall asleep and can not stay asleep. I’m exhausted all the time. The last week or so has been extra hard although I don’t know why, I feel like I’m stuck in a revolving door . I have found that reading some of the terribly sad stories on this site is helpful because I now know how I feel is ‘normal’ but the one downside is the realisation that I could feel the same for a very long time to come. I miss my husband so much, the intimacy of our relationship such as holding hands or pillow talk about the day ahead or something totally insignificant. It’s very lonely. Your post resonated with me hence my reply. I wish you well and send hugs of comfort… Jo
2 Likes
@Flumps1 hasnt it just im sorry for your loss im only 4 days in and dont even get out of bed as seems no need anymore.
2 Likes
I lost my husband in March this year and I also just feel it is getting worse each day and week.
I think the first few months I was just in shock and auto pilot but yes, the reality that I’ll never get to see him or speak to him again is all consuming
I’m desperately trying to keep active so I don’t slump into a depression but really lack motivation and purpose and can’t bear the thought of returning to work.
Am hoping things will get a bit easier at some point, but am working on a few years trajectory at the moment.
Just try and take things a day at a time - and be kind to yourself
Sending some love and hugs xx
3 Likes
Thank you Jo,
I’ve been keeping myself constantly busy, but recently finding it harder & harder.Im so tired all the time too & behaving normally for the children & granchildren especially is just exhausting.
I miss reaching for his hand when I’m out, people have started to treat me differently ,like a frail senile old lady because I cry so easily .I want to just scream a lot of the time & physically sob in the night.I miss him so much. Sending you virtual hugs , I miss his so much 
Jenny
2 Likes
It’s so hard, sending you big hugs, you’re still in shock even when it’s expected, the reality is something you could never have predicted. Jenny
1 Like
I wish I could say anything to make it better for you, but I can’t, but sending you a big virtual hug ,it’s just awful Jenny x
2 Likes
Big virtual hugs to all of you, at least we have this platform where we can write how we’re feeling
, I too try to stay strong and try to not break down for my kids and grandchildren & you’re right that can be exhausting!
41 years of having him by my side, I feel lost and like a spare part.
Thank you all for the kind words and support 
1 Like
Cazzab1 so sorry, wish I could say something to make you feel better but I know that I can’t, hope you take some comfort in knowing you’re not alone in how you’re feeling
1 Like