Dear All,
Sometimes I can’t see the point of carrying on with life knowing I’ll always feel this sadness and yearning.
I don’t believe I will ever feel any different.
Is there any hope the pain and yearning gets easier?
I’ll never be the person I was before.
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@AlysonandSteve
I know how you feel, I often think what is the point of carrying on, especially when I wake up to the same old feeling of sadness and loneliness, I miss his morning kiss and hug and the day ahead of togetherness and sharing,
To be honest, there’s not a lot we can do about it, just try to be positive and think how lucky we were to have had such love with wonderful memories.
I am definitely not the person I was and never will be. There’s a huge black hole always at my side.
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At the moment I am sobbing so much ,I am trying to be so brave for everyone around but my heart is broken. I wish each morning that I hadn’t, will it ever get any easier x
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Sometimes we all feel this way, I don’t think I’ll ever be that me again. But for my kids family and friends I keep going what other choice do we have the other is unthinkable and they wouldn’t want that they would never forgive us
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I am six weeks today losing my husband of 35 years. I too feel pointless but then I think I just couldn’t do that to my daughter and friends and indeed my husband who would be so distressed if he knew I had chosen not to be here.
Evenings are the worst where the foreverness of it hits home, every night. I have told me friends and now I often get phone calls or texts and even overnight stays from the 7pm blues time. There seems to be many more ways to distract yourself during the day.
I have joined other forums like these and read a few books on grief. I found the Richard E Grant one so mirrored my husbands journey that in some ways it was comforting in making me feel less like ‘could I have done more’ ‘should I have pressed the oncologist for different options’ ‘ should he have gone into a hospice’ and on an on I judge myself. It made me see that so many people unfortunately have the same tragic experience.
I know that feeling of not wanting to carry on. I even told my daughter tonight I wouldn’t be bothered if I didn’t wake up in the morning! Her answer to that of course was but we would be!! I wouldn’t dream of actually doing anything to myself but natural causes would be acceptable I suppose. I know the unbelievable devastation suicide can be on those left behind as my nephew took his own life at 23 years old. We need to think of the positives, take things slowly as there is no quick fix! We need to be grateful that we have loved and were loved in return otherwise we wouldn’t be feeling this bad. Xx
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Im the same reading through all these posts 8 weeks today with husband 30 years ,today i sobbed till i could hardly breathe , rationally i know hes not coming back and life will be forever different and how on earth do we get over this ? Theres no answers yet is there ? Irrationally i think by some miracle he may appear or i will wake up and find it has been my worst nightmare, i torture myself enlarging his photos on my phone so i can stare at him up close ,trying to make sense that the man i adored and shared everything with is gone ,i feel worse then 2 weeks ago , i sometimes wish i could have my mind erased from everything ,thinking of you all as we battle through every hour if everyday x
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13 weeks and I get ur pain one step at time that’s all we can do
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At the moment I just can’t stop crying screaming in fact mine is 12 weeks
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Yes I often scream… just seems to come from no where. Just a horrible journey that we are on. Big hugs xx
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Today I have had a good day full of positives. My brother and his new partner took me out for lunch. She lost her husband 18 months ago about the same time his partner finished their long time relationship! They have both been at rock bottom but have found each other and are so good together. It was lovely to see and so reassuring for me to know I might not always feel low! My son also came down tonight to help me with some IT stuff. Yes a good day so I now know there will be some good days in this gloom. Let’s see what tomorrow brings. 
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I lost my wife last month and the pain is raw she helped me through cancer 30+years ago and l did all l could for her when she developed dementia.In the end she was in a nursing home,l was with her when she died. I still feel guilty l would have rather it have been me I burst into tears, I have her photo in all the rooms, people will tell you that it gets easier over time,and it may well do but at this point I feel completely lost,we have2kids and 4 grandchildren,and though they are quite local l don’t see them often. Don’t be afraid to ask for help, people don’t know what to do,so do nothing.God bless and believe th e. pain will pass and you will. be left with precious memories of your time together
So sorry your going through this as well and very recently too, im trying like you to make sense of everything, tears come very easily yes, days seem like forever after being so busy 24/with caring for my husband ,im goi g to a bereavement group this Thursday organised by the hospice, im dreading it i know I’ll either spend it crying or not be able to speak but i have to do this, thank goodness for this site ,I hope you find it helpful and know you are not alone in your grief ,jeep posting someone will always talk ,take care and take one step at a time.