My daughter drowned in October , and the cid investigating he was there , he didn’t close the secen he just beilived these two girls with no proof “bless them they tried to help her but she just wouldn’t listen “ he wouldn’t listen to what I was telling him I told him so many times , he didn’t do an appeal for witnesses he neglected his duty , and he lied on a statement to the coroner making out she killed her self , he made some story up that she loved water and talked about swimming in lakes , I’ve asked him so many times where he got that information from he ignores the question, I even asked him in court and still he changed the conversation, because he knows he’s messed up , he knows the lack of investigating has let my daughter down , he made me feel like a crazy mom he ignored me , this girl chased her followed her , a fisherman heard two girls arguing for ten minutes then a splash , and he didn’t think to look into that , or the fact I said she hated dirty cold water , she would only put her feet in the sea , every one who knows her knew she hated getting cold and wet , she wouldn’t of got in the water on her own , I’ll never know what happened because of the cid there was people at McDonald’s and the pubs it wasn’t late , just one person could of given us a clue to what these girls were doing , or not doing we will never know , the judge has ordered the video footage cctv and body cam which they still haven’t given , I think he’s hoping we don’t see it , because it means I will be able to say there was witnesses, on Facebook they do appeals for stolen items from coop , endless appeals but my daughter got nothing (oh well) that’s how it felt , I have to watch the cctv and the body cams before June I’m dreading it I won’t let any one come with me , I can’t hurt any one else , I need to see it ; I’m really struggling I miss her so much , I’m on so much medication now because I was having chaotic episodes, thinking she had been kidnapped and her body replaced , or my family know a way to get her back , I still have three children , so I can’t give up , I have to fight for justice and fight to save my children’s life, they are 12 /15/17 the youngest is doing better but my older ones especially my 15 year old son he’s really not doing well , he has his GCSEs next year , he’s had so much time off he won’t be able to catch up , he knows how I feel about GCSEs , I love my children so much , and I hurt just as much for the loss of her life 18 years and she will never grow older , I have been diagnosed with ptsd now , and I won’t go into the details of what I’ve seen , things that can’t be unseen , I wish I could get her back , I don’t know how to cope with my grief , and I’ve told my family and doctors that if I didn’t have the three kids still I would be dead already , losing a child in any way is devastating, i wish I could give her my life , I miss her so much , I miss who we all were , I miss every thing ,
Hi @Motherof4 ,
Thank you so much for sharing this with the community 
I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I just wanted to let you know that you have been heard and you are not alone.
Take good care,
Alex
Hi, I am so sorry for your loss. This is traumatic and unfair and made worse by police incompetence. It is so hard to keep going.
There is nothing I can say other than I am thinking of you and your children.
I am so sorry for the loss, it must be so hard, please take care of yourself, everything I read was hurting me and you are going through so many things I can’t even imagine. I can’t even try to comfort you or reassure you about anything and don’t even know what to say Please take care of yourself so you can take care of your other children.
I just wish I didn’t have to do it all alone , my daughters father was never in the picture, he was more in the background in her life , he was there when she would go to see his family and that was it , he paid for her funeral and then just stopped messaging me , I have tried so many times to ask him to do this with him , but I stopped asking , he doesn’t want to know and I don’t care for when my family say “it’s his way of coping” like I’m meant to just cope , im not out of every one I’m the one who isn’t , my ptsd cripples me , I spent 10 mins last night trying to call her hoping beyond hope she would answer just once and it will come back as a lie , to think my daughter is kidnapped is most likely my brain trying to deal with the pain I’m in , and i understand that , but it’s hard , I don’t want to be awake and I don’t want to asleep and dream of her , I dreamt of dying with her last night in the water , while these girls just stood , how can any one just do nothing until it’s too late , I miss her so much I keep looking for ways to find her to speak to her but there is none I know that , It’s so painful , and my family just leave me and the kids to it , apart from my sister she messages a lot and I know she would move in with her kids if I let her , but I refuse to let them see or hear the things I have and will , my daughter wouldn’t want that , it’s my duty as a mother to protect her at all costs still , and I’m protecting their mental health too , I’m protecting them , that way it’s only me being hurt again and again , it’s hard it’s so hard , and I’m in so much pain I just don’t understand how she’s gone
I am so sorry to hear about the tragic drowning of your daughter It sounds so traumatic no wonder you are suffering so much Have you sought the advice of a solicitor and made a complaint about the police investigation If not why not Your daughter deserves Justice and Peace I hope you get some advice and make some decisions about resolving the situation
In your daughter s memory and your own piece of mind
We will be on the second pre inquest in June , I will be suing the cid , for my daughter and my children and myself , I want his job , I need him to know what I nearly did because of his lies , I was ready to end my life , I really thought she did it , but she didn’t want to die , she didn’t and he didn’t care enough to do an investigation, her name wasn’t any where no appeal if we had just one person could of said they heard some thing , im just hoping the fisherman heard the any thing that was being said , I won’t ever stop fighting until every one knows my daughters name , I want every death investigated the same , how dare they not , she wasn’t an old person in bed , or sick , she drowned , and nothing , how could it be okay , how could he just not care enough, as just a human , Chloe is my first , I love her so much , and she’s gone and I can’t cope with her loss , I resent waking up I really do , I watched her face disappeare until I couldn’t see her face any more but I didn’t care she is my baby , I didn’t let any one else see her , I bathed her I dressed her , why because I really thought she would wake up , when the staff member told me not to see her she knew I wouldn’t take no for an answer as she pulled the blanket off her face , I broke “she’s never coming back is she” the staff member said she has never cried but seeing me and hearing me beg , I begged her “help me bring her back please “ I hurt every one I talk to , every one around me crys after they talk to me , they have lives so I can’t keep damaging them , I want vengeance so bad , but I can’t , why does she get to go on and have a good life when my daughters dead , and my life is over , my children’s childhood ended with her heart beat , we are a very close little family , me and four amazing children who love each other , they worship each other , we are together all the time , every where I went they came , they are my world , and I feel like my world is over , I want the kids to be enough to carry on , but the pain my grief doesn’t care about any one , it’s like being in quick sand the kids on my back I’m just fighting to stay here for them , I know it hurts my family when I say it , but it’s true I am souly alive for them no one else ; I’m scared of the footage and what it’s going to do to me , how would any one feel watching their child dead on a body cam as they try to bring her back , but I have to , it’s my duty as a mother , do know every thing she went through , I need to if there was mistakes , if they had just put her in the ambulance she would be here it was too cold , it took 40 minutes to bring her heart back , they couldn’t even get a temp , she was so cold in the hospital I climbed in the bed with her , my hand over her heart as I told her how much I love her , and when they told me she was going I knew I had to set her free I thought if her soul was there watching me , I need to tell her that it was ok to leave , that she could rest , and I would always fight for her and her siblings , I told her to keep them safe forever and I said goodnight , i then had to tell my three children who sat in the waiting room I will never forget their faces , two cried one just froze in shock he didn’t blink he didn’t even swollow we went outside and a cat came running out to us it was 3am Chloe loved cats , it was a sign for them , I went to have a moment on my own and I just dropped to the floor screaming , it was like a movie like it wasn’t real , watching them see her , they were shaking her , crying and I had to hold it together alone , as my mom struggled to watch , I sat on the floor , holding them , it’s so hard to be a mom still , when I miss her so much , with tbe injustice we have faced , I’ve never hated any one in my life , because hate is as strong but I hate those girls I hate the cid , and I will do what I can , and one day every one who read this will see I did it , how do I be strong any more when I’m so broken inside
Thinking of you and wondering how things are now Blessings