My mom passed away on 21st oct 2023, and although physically and mentally I have been affected. It has also affected all my relationships. I don’t seem to like anyone at home, I tried to talk to dad how I feel but then I don’t even like if he is helping me and I feel as suddenly mom passed away and he will too so I don’t want any attachment. I avoid meeting anyone even if I want to, my friends and cousins helped me during the funeral and sometimes check on me but i just don’t like anything because they don’t understand grief. It is all so difficult and moving on seems difficult, I even left my work recently bcoz I wasn’t able to deliver and lost complete interest nor a therpist was able to help
Hi @Varun
Sorry to hear your struggling so much. It sounds like by avoiding people, it’s like your trying to protect yourself from anymore heartache, but that actually just shows how much you care about the people you’re trying to avoid, sadly distancing yourself from them doesn’t stop you caring about them. But I guess at the same time, we all have our own way of grieving, it’s not a one size fits all, & you need to do what works for you.
I guess because our parents are there for so much of our lives, we can’t imagine them not being there, even though we know realistically that no-one lives forever, so when they pass, it’s such a big shock, but one of the things I learned from my mom’s passing, is that time can be short, & no one knows what’s just round the corner, so we should make the most of the time we have, with the one’s that matter most. Think of it this way, if you keep keeping people at a distance because your scared of going through the heartache of loosing them, then how are you going to feel when something happens, & you haven’t made the most of that precious time, I understand your fears, & I know it’s scary, but regret can last a lifetime.
Look after yourself, sending hugs of support.
You mention about regret, you know all my life I have always looked up to my mom and dad, respected them and done everything right, we have celebrated all our birthdays together and just last year when I was feeling low and not talking to her properly she suddenly passed away when she had no illness or any symptom, I try to convince myself its not my fault but how can I not blame and live in regret and at this moment I just don’t care about anything and anyone coz for the person I cared just left living me in this lifetime regret. I don’t mean to sound rude, you are trying to help but I am really struggling and in pain, I am so sorry and thankyou for replying and being a kind person
but that actually just shows how much you care about the people you’re trying to avoid, sadly distancing yourself from them doesn’t stop you caring about them. But I guess at the same time, we all have our own way of grieving, it’s not a one size fits all, & you need to do what works for you.