Changes after my wife died

It’s been 8 months since my wife died. It’s been difficult trying to carry on and do the things we used to do together. The world has changed a a lot for me since then. I awaken each morning and do the usual chores, laundry, trying to figure out what’s on the agenda. I look at the things, photos and the room where my wife once lived and did her artwork, kitchen planning and so forth. Today, it was all so different. I had been keeping myself busy doing things to occupy my mind. It all seemed to come to a standstill — I was tired today, slept in late and resumed my daily stuff - but finally sat back and realized that was no longer here - then I began to realized that how much I missed her. I kept myself occupied all this time, but today, I took a long break, and was saddened to know that I wished she was here with me, but alas, it was not going to happen. I went thru her things to attempt to organize again, and found her music cd’s - stacked them together and looked at each one individually. I remember her playing these when we went out and her singing along with her favorite songs and music - it brought her back to mind again, and how much I miss here. I put together a few of her photos and found frames and decided to send a photo to her sons, sister and a few friends (not yet done yet). This evening I realized how different the neighborhood is, the city is different and for that matter, the whole world is now a different place and I became lonely longing for the time we spent together. I guess the world had passed me by in the past 8 months. She was a real sweetheart. I wish I could spend my time over again with her.
Herb

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Hello again, Herb,
It is Stan’s first anniversary on the 15th August, my birthday on the 8th August and will be our diamond wedding anniversary on the 10th September. My life changed forever on the 15th , we were lucky to have all those years together, 63 in all and I do realise this. I suppose when we are parted so suddenly and cruelly, the shock numbs us, it did me, I am finding that the pain of losing him is more intense than it was nearly a year ago. The last words he said to me were “I do love you, loads” and I replied that I do love him. That will never change.
Take care,
MaryL x

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Thank you MaryL, I found that to be encouraging – do you know why? I am realizing almost every day, that others on this site are going thru what I an feeling today. Sometimes I take a break from what I’m doing and find myself totally alone out here. It makes me sad to realize I am going on alone without my wife, with whom I would love to share these experiences with. Sometimes I go through an entire week, in some form of solitude, doing the things that keep me occupied. Sunday, a fried of mine and his son dropped by to look at my sump pump, as I felt it was backing up too much. Maybe a check valve will fix it, thought it never crossed my mind. We sat for an hour and talking, and I told them about my wife and the way she wanted to improve the house. They told me she was doing a very good job, whether it was furnishings, artwork or home improvements. ect. They knew by the way I was talking that I missed her. Anyway, it was nice to have them here, and they said they would check out the valve stuff and let me know.
August 8, is only a few days away. I guess love sustains us through a lot of trials and experiences except death. And you are to be congratulated - 63 years. I am sorry that the time that has passed, has not softened the fact that Stan is gone. I certainly do identify with you on that. I experience the same thing - though my - I recognize the feeling. I lost my wife in November 19, 2019. It too, was a numbing experience, I cannot recall how I got through it all. I do remember reading a passage from the bible, Galatians 5: 22-23. I spoke about her life, likes, dislikes and that the scriptures described how I saw her in my life. *I believe that today - she was that way.). I knew her for 15 years and married just 8. Just wanted to share that with you, and thank you for writing today. I guess we all share some sorrow on this site, but we always find ways to remember our loved ones and find some encouragement along the way. I didn’t mean to talk your ear off, but please have a blessed day.
Herb

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You are very welcome, Herb, I am glad that my post has helped you. You can talk my ear off, I do not mind our son is coming to see me and is staying the night, I am going to buy an Apple Mobile phone. I have a pay as you go but it is not much use, Michael is going to choose one for me, the simpler the better, I am hopeless with the darned things.
I shall look up the passage from the bible which you mention. I hope that you have a blessed day too.
MaryL

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