Sometimes I feel positive like I’ve got to get the garden sorted or start another puzzle but suddenly I get upset as if I shouldn’t be thinking like this, it’s as if our time together wasn’t real as if like a dream and I’ve woken up and my husband’s not here, it’s really scary. Also if I’ve been out, the feeling I get when I come back home is overwhelming I want run away from this lost feeling but I can’t. It’s as if I’m telling my self off (how dare you get on with your life and forget him)but I know that will never happen
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Sorry for you loss
It’s difficult - you want to hold on to things exactly as they were, but entropy of life is in complete opposition.
Harsh reality is life goes on and you have to find the balance between holding on to the past for dear life and manoeuvring through the new reality where that past no longer exists
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Autumnchild57
So sorry for your loss ,take care ,
Somedays i feel positive ,and then other days feel totally in meltdown ,
I cannot seem to concentrate some days,
Mind is thinking about my husband and nothing else sinks in,
Hugs Take care ,
Susie
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Thank you for sharing your feelings, it’s comforting to know it’s not just me. X
@Autumnchild57 im sorry for your loss and i completely undestand how you feel. I am trying so hard to be positive and get on with jobs or enjoy doing other things but then im overwhelmed with tears and just want him here with me.
I aksi feel like was our time together real and did i just imagine it. I also question his feelings for me which i know is silly as i know he loved me. I still think he will come home and wait to hear the key in the door. Then i think stop his ashes are here so he wont come back. X
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Hi it’s so reassuring to read your post, to know that what we are feeling is not unique to us but part of the grieving process. Take care 
You have NO IDEA how reassuring it is to know that I’m not alone in feeling like that. I KNEW he loved me but suddently when he’s not here to say it anymore, I’m thinking ‘is he angry at me as me and his family have fallen out?’, ‘does he see me differently now that he’s looking from the outside?’. I guess this is normal? Thank you.
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Sorry you are feeling this way ,i feel guilty sometimes but my husband would want me to do things,i know it is not easy sometimes but life has to carry on sometimes Thinking of you
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