Your conversations made me smile for the first time today. I am not feeling to well i have a bad headache, maybe lack of sleep. Gra was also my second marriage after meeting in a widow and widowers chat room
This time does seem so much harder maybe like you say Willow we were younger and had more family for support. It the last 7 yrs i have lost my dad mum and sister now Gra.
Would I risk another relationship yeah I think I would, eventually. I hate been alone and I dont get much if any support from the rest of my family.
I am also pleased Gra was spared this pain. Practically he could have coped he did it before. Emotionally I dont think he would. Hos first wife was an alcoholic he stayed out off duty not love.
We shared everything we where together 24/7 he was so supportive last year when I needed a cancer operation. Even though he was ill himself he was one of the strongest ppl I have ever known. He never once put himself it was always me. God do I miss him heartbroken doesnt come close. Hugs Jo xxx
Oh well, ladies, Ron is obviously off the listā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦
Xx
Lol willow xxx
I think @jevncute and @Willow112 you are both brave taking a 2nd chance on love, I am seeing someone but my god Iām a tortoise of the dating world lol, it scares me to death! He is extremely patient with me as we crawl along. Still no idea if it is the right thing to do. I quite like living by myself but yes I do feel lonely but I guess thatās understandable for all of us having been married and used to living with someone. I am already thinking what if he dies before me too? I think I have created a bit of a wall as he did say in a few months time he will buy a sledgehammer and smash my barriers down 
It was four years before I married again. I met him through a widows group that formed through a chat room for widowed people.
I have remained in contact with a few widows I got to know 20 years ago. Some have remarried, strangely enough, they all married widowed men. Some have partners, but havenāt married them. A few had disastrous relationships, two of them involved financial abuses. A few have remained single with no romantic affairs since losing their husbands. But all of them say they lead content lives, including the ones that were taken advantage of.
Personally I feel blessed to have met and married my second husband. Even with all this pain I do not regret knowing and loving him. Xx
Likewise if I hadnt taken the risk after losing Steve , i wouldnāt have had the love and dreams I had with Gra. I love the both equally for who they where.
I wouldnāt change a thing although the loss of them is so bloody painful.
I suppose thats the cost of loving someone.
Hugs jo xxx
So there may be hope for me then lol
Theres always hope Lyn xxx
Hi,
Itās 11 years next month since I lost Joyce. Not a day, sometimes not even an hour goes by without thinking of her. And that grief monster can and does still hit me, even after all this time. It has occurred to me, like you have said, that Joyce has not had to cope with any of this and Iām pleased that she hasnāt. It is not a life that I would want her to have.
Hereās the selfish part of me. If I were to set up home or remarry, I have already decided that I would want to go first. I donāt think I could cope with this again.
John
Unfortunately we donāt get to make that decision.
I went through this 20 years ago and I am struggling to get through it again. It isnāt any easier this time, in fact, it seems worse.
But we donāt get to choose. I didnāt volunteer. Or maybe we all volunteer to take the risk when we fall in love with someone. Because in most cases, one will go first and the other one has to make the best of it.
Xx
Loss my brother in April 30th. Canāt believe it has been. 4. Months. On 30th August. So miss me. So much. And keep Doug in my heart forever. And think of the good times. When we were. Growing. Up as children. We had. Lot. Of good times. Together. Alan and dawn. Remember when my sister got married Doug came to wedding and stay at my home. And was so nice. To see him
Oh, YouTube has been a lifeline! Everything from plug-changing to working out how to open up the insides of the vacuum cleaner to get at the filter. Am on it all the time.
We did talk about it a little, a year or so before he died. John lived very much for the moment, never thought about the past, and handled emotional stuff by ignoring it, so tbh, I donāt think his life would have changed as dramatically as mine has. A loner, self-sufficient emotionally as well as practically.
I understand and agree people ask how I seem to be coping better than others my reply is I loved my husband I am happy to live with my memories and to know he is not the one on this painful journey that I am on it doesnāt mean I am not hurting whilst finding my new path but knowing how lucky I am to have had those years together.
Dear RNR64, your loss situation seems very similar to mine. I lost my dear husband 7 months ago. I still awake anxious in the night not knowing what my future will be without him . I have to find meaning and purpose again but it is so hard - swaying between āwhatās the pointā and wanting to set a strong example for our two grown up daughter and son. We never spoke of or planned for one of us being ledt on our own. I have two full farm workshops filled with equipment. Contractors continue farming the land but i feel overwhelmed and inadequate trying to make the decisions my husband made so well. Life is very difficult that i never truly manage to enjoy myself - just go through the motions almost pretending. My compassion to all of us dealing with our losses.
I was widowed when I was 51 and I thought my life was over. How wrong I was. I met an old friend who I married and then he became ill and died on our 12th wedding anniversary. Once again I had to pick myself up and learn to live for just myself. I then met a man 3 years younger than me and first of all we just went out for the day one day a week. In 2018 he started living with me about half the week and then when Covid came he moved in but still kept his house 30 miles away. Last year he suddenly became ill and died in 13 we from pancreatic cancer. I have been in a very bad place mentally and have had to have counselling and CBT. In spite of all this I would do it again rather than to have been on my own for 29 years. I feel blessed to have loved them and they to have loved me.
I understand that Jan i lost my first husband in 2005 he was only 36 we didnt quiet get 5 yrs together . I met him after breaking up with my sons Dad who played mind games etc, Steve showed me such love and respect and I was devastated when he died from a dvt. Then i met Gra he was 16 yrs older then me but treat me like a princess. But unfortunately he died in june 16th of heart failure. I feel blessed to have been loved by two loving men. And yes i would do it all again in a heart beat. Hugs Jo xxc
Gosh Jan
3 times! Thatās so bloody hard. Itās so inconceivable to even imagine let alone deal with. You clearly have a very positive attitude and yes I agree, I took believe you have to count the blessings on the love we shared.
I canāt envisage a life on my own, itās just so lonely after being with someone more than half of your life but it does scare me too that it could happen again but I am willing to take the risk should I meet someone again. For now I am just focussing on finding some joy and happiness once again. Life is too short to let grief overshadow everything. My husband would want me to be happy and I keep reminding myself of that.
Thank you x
Thank you for your kind words x