Been to see my husband today for the last time it was so painful i hate this world i want my husband back i cant cope without him he was my rock my life the funeral is Monday i dont know if i can do this im 48 a widow
@Cadge That must have been rough Cadge. There’s nothing I can say that will really help, it’s just such a shit place to be. Sometimes you just have to hold in there and keep afloat. It does get easier. My wife’s funeral filled me with dread, it actually turned out to be the release I needed, surrounded by our friends and our families, all there for her. Try and just go with it, hang on, the chaos calms.
Thankyou funeral monday hes only going to be a 5 minute walk away from my house so i can regularly visit i just hope i can get through this nightmare i know he wouldnt want me to give up on life
@Cadge you’ll get through it , everyone on here has done it, so can you. It’s going to be rough and if people offer help then take it. Things must be really unimaginable for you, but you will be able to get through the next days. We all find the strength.
How are you coping now
DAy by day the same as you, sometimes hour by hour. But that’s getting much, much further apart. I’ve just had 2 or 3 weeks where I’ve felt relatively positive. It does come back to you and they come back to you and somehow you learn to try and accept it. I’m still getting there but I’m seeing that it might be possible.
Im so glad your having some postive times your doing so well hope i get to have some good days in the future i really do .
You will, they’ll just be good in a different way. But still good
@Cadge Bless you, visiting the chapel of rest is an ordeal in itself so be kind to yourself. I only got to the door of the room & peeped inside before I burst into tears. Nothing prepares you for it. I was still sobbing when I left….The funeral on Monday will be your next big step, my advice is to break the day up into manageable pieces. You can do this. You’re accompanying him on his last journey. Warmest wishes & I hope it goes well. X
My husbands funeral is on Tuesday.
I saw him in the chapel of rest on Friday, and going again on Monday.
I actually felt better after seeing him - he was at peace.
You CAN do this.
Honestly, you can xx
@Cadge it’s hard and unimaginable but you will do it. You will honor him and the anticipation can be worse than the event. For me there were tears and laughter, stories to share. It was nice to meet people he had talked about that I hadn’t met. It was exhausting but felt proud of his send off.
Post event was hard, he was never ever coming back, he was never going to wake up now.
Just always work through each hour, don’t think ahead as it’s too hard and gets overwhelming. 6 months in I still live by this, otherwise it just feels impossible.
You will get through Monday, just as you have got through the days since he died.
Best wishes for Monday.
I’m sorry you’ve had to join the club. I did get to see my partner at the coroner’s but after that it had to be a closed coffin and that was hard. I felt robbed and angry as I really wanted to see him again. However I did still get some relief from sitting with him before the funeral.
Best wishes for Tuesday.
I did feel better but its just seen him there and i feel so sad because he should be with me 54 is too young we had so many plans i love him so much xxxx
I’m totally with you.
My hubby was 58 & we also had so many plans.
He set up a pizza business 8 months ago & it was really taking off. I’m sad that he won’t be able to do those things😢
I’ll be thinking of you tomorrow x
54 is too young. Thinking if you over the next days. Xx
Thank you for posting this. I read so many posts that say it never gets easier but this has helped me feel a bit hopeful
I am so sorry , my heart goes out to you.
Life does get a bit easier as time goes by. The grief can hit you at any time though. It is still very early days and you will have lots of different emotions and feelings. All I can say is to go with them. If you cry all day, don’t get up or do nothing then don’t worry about it, just do what you feel is right for you.
I am nine months in on this journey and I now have some good days. My confidence has not returned yet and I still have moments of “brain fog” but all in all I am not feeling as bad as I did at first. I think you adjust with time.
One of my relatives told me to live for both of us. At the time I was shocked and could not see myself ever being able to do so. I can now and I am going to live the life my dear husband sadly couldn’t live in his honour. I know it is easy to say but not so easy to do.
Sending you lots of hugs and strength xx
Thank you. I have a 2 year old so sleep and generally doing what I feel like isn’t really on the cards. In some ways it’s probably helped as I’ve just had to carry on doing things for her as staying in the house is harder than going out!
Yes, I suppose it has as she is still very dependant on you. I am so sorry, I hope you do get some time for yourself and time to grieve properly. xx