Childish or just emotional

As an adult, after just loosing a parent. Is it wrong to with that you had them back? Or is that a child like response?
In the moment of being vulnerable and talking to someone I thought I trusted. I expressed that I wish I wanted my loved one back because we had just started building a relationship that felt good. We were becoming friends and finding that love. I just felt in the moment that she was taken away too soon and abruptly. Is that childlike or normal

I think its a perfectly normal part of grief for anyone who has lost a loved one to wish they were back , whether thats a parent, partner, sibling, child or friend. Our brains become hard wired to expect to see that person, so our brains cant understand why suddenly we cant find them anymore. And ultimately in our hearts, we just miss them! I miss mums hugs, her smile, our chats, our trips out, her unconditional love for me and her care. :broken_heart: Of COURSE i want her back - why wouldnt I?! “Childlike” is an interesting word - i think that yes when we lose our parents it does stir up our inner child, (we find ourselves an orphan) but i dont think thats a bad thing. Childlike is not the same as childish/immature. I think a lot of adults would benefit from being more childlike! Reading between the lines of your message, i get the feeling the person you opened up to wasnt very empathetic? Im sorry if thats the case but please dont let anyone else tell you how you should/shouldnt grieve. We all are entitled to grieve in our own way at our own pace. Sending hugs and strength to you :heart::people_hugging::heart:

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It was the case. It was my partner. She wasn’t empathetic at all. Instead she berated me and put me down as if I was entitled to feeling how I feel. It’s not like it’s been a long time. It’s only been days. So emotionally it shocked me knowing that I won’t get a text, call or see her in person. So it hurts and makes me feel like less of a person for emoting to my partner and it garners a lack of trust in my relationship.

Im so sorry - sadly this site is full of situations where partners and friends just dont get it, and dont want to even try :disappointed: I hope that over time she stops and rethinks her position, and takes the time to listen and empathise. But sadly it isnt always the case. Please keep posting here, you will find so many people that understand and want to support each other. You’re not alone :heart:

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Thank you. It’s definitely the case with a lot of people and I don’t think she’s capable of empathizing with emotions because of her own closed of disposition on what a “man” should act like, which is fine. I just never understood how being emotional could be a burden to some in a time of grief.

I’m so sorry that you’re not getting the support you need and deserve from your partner.
And no, there is nothing wrong with the way you are feeling. Your parent is always that no matter how old you are.
I’m 57 and after I lost my husband in September it was my dad who was there for me - just like when I was a kid. And I’d spend a couple of hours every day with him (he lost my mum in Jan 2024).
Sadly he passed away last Tuesday after a short illness of only 3 weeks and one week after he was supposed to come home. So I understand your pain
So ignore the hurtful comments and know that at least you feel like you do now because you knew how to love.
And I’ll shout this YOU BEING A MALE MAKES NO DIFFERENCE - all sexes hurt and are entitled to do so and express feelings without being made to feel “less” by insensitive people or stereotypes.
I hope you find some support somewhere.

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Much love to all on this thread :broken_heart:
Aww @cpkardulis1190 , I soo feel your pain, I am in the same situation with my husband, I am 242 day without my mam & to say he has made this grief journey worse is an understatement, even though he knew the strong bond we had, comments like ‘she was 89, what more do you expect’, ‘I don’t do grief’, ‘2 weeks & you’ll be over it’, honestly I could go on & on & on!, he actually went to a bonfire party the day his own mother passed, so what hope do I have for empathy, sympathy & understanding
Take no notice of your partner, you navigate your own grief journey as you see fit, no-one can stand in your shoes, you have lost a very precious part of your life & that takes time to come to terms with
100% agree with @Gill12 , just because you are a normal man (not like my husband), does not mean you don’t have feelings
Hugs to all
Jean x

@Formamjoan4835
Jean I am so sorry to hear that your husband is being such an unsupportive, inconsiderate twerp. I want to use much stronger words but would probably get myself banned.

It doesn’t matter if its been 2 days, 242 days or 2042 days - if you are hurting then you are hurting and deserve to grieve in your own way in your own time.
My dad was 89 too when he passed away this week (6 months after I lost my husband and 15 months after my mum) and it doesn’t matter how old they were we miss them the same.
You take your time to grieve for your wonderful mam and people here will always understand if you need to vent.
Sending hugs.