Christine 38

I lost my wonderful husband a week ago after having a very sudden illness,4 weeks ago when he had a long operation,we were told he may not make it but he carried on fighting even though on a ventilator, we had carried on having hope throughout these weeks I travelled to see him every day terrible ups and downs,finally given the news there wasn’t anything more to be done,absolutely devastated family stayed with him till the end.Im finding everything so difficult,don’t know how I can carry on without him,feel physically ill my heart is broken, we were married for 51years,still have the funeral to go next week.I have never been on a forum before but now see how many other people are heartbroken x


Hi Christine, I’m so sorry about the death of your husband, even though you think you are prepared for it happening, when it does it’s devastating, I’m hoping that you have family and friends around to support you through this awful time, all you can do is to take a day at a time, don’t look to far forward just concentrate on the here and now, sending love Jude xx

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Thank you Jude28 I appreciate that x

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Dear Christine

I am so sorry that you find yourself on this same awful journey. I lost my husband in different circumstances but can say nothing prepares us for the huge indescribable loss of our loved ones and the physical pain that goes with it. You will still be in shock at this early stage. As Jude has said please just take one day at a time and surround yourself with people who will support you.

Will be thinking of you.
Sheila x

Thankyou Sheila 26,I’m sat here now looking at his photos the pain is indescribable, can’t stop crying can’t see a future at all,I’m going to see him tomorrow at the funeral home,want to see him so much but I know the pain I will feel,still can’t believe this has happened after being married for 51 years can’t imagine life without him x

Dear Christine38

I met my husband when we were both in our teens. Married over 38 years and together 42. I too cannot imagine life without my husband. Like yourself I had never been on a forum until my husband died. I remember searching with the words ‘cannot live without my husband’ and my search brought me to this forum. This site is a place where we can say and share our pain and heartache without fear of upsetting family/friends, without being judged and is a great support.

I will be thinking of you tomorrow.
Sheil x

Thank-you Sheila x

So sad to read Christine . Such early days . I remember that time very well - 2 years now . I amazed myself with how I coped .
I too went to see my hubby at chapel of rest and so glad I did . He did look just like himself as I was with him when he died .
The funeral was lovely and think I was the only one who didn’t cry !
I was just so determined to get through and YOU will too.
I didn’t find this forum for some months but it’s always here when you feel you need .
Photos I am only recently able to look at and enjoy sharing memories with our children and grandchildren . There is no timescale to any of this . I know my life will never really be happy again BUT I had my happy time .
One step at a time and sending caring thoughts your way​:cry::pray:

I just can’t sleep, I need my husband,my heart is broken,don’t know how to get through this he’s always been there for me,I feel lost


Hi Christine, I am three months into this journey and I lost my husband after only a 4 month battle with cancer. He too had a very long operation, due to a lot of scar tissue and other complications which showed up negligence from previous treatment which had probably led to the cancer. He died a month later. He only came home for a day and had to go back to hospital as his wounds weren’t healing. I suspect your husbands death was referred to the coroners office as he had had a recent operation. Mine was and there is going to be an inquest next March.

What I meant to say was if you aren’t sleeping I would recommend talking to your doctor. Mine gave me sleeping tablets. I now have antihistamine tablets from her which I can take instead. I have managed a few nights without either but it is reassuring to know I can take them if I am having a bad night. It really helps to get a good night sleep and the tablets she gave me do not make me dopey during the day.

This is a very roller coaster journey we all go through. I find I am better if I keep busy and see people but I still need time on my own to grieve. The pit in the stomach feeling is less 2 months further down the line from you. It’s hard though. The hardest thing I have ever gone through.

Thankyou Judy,I see so many people on this forum going through this heartbreak,it’s such a physical pain going to see him today at the Chapel of rest,I think I will get in touch with my doctor haven’t slept properly for weeks since this nightmare started,we had so many plansI loved him so much wish I’d told him more x

I’m finding the loss of my husband unbearable,don’t think I will cope with this pain,trying to sort out funeral arrangements with help from my children,still can’t believe he’s gone can’t imagine a future without him.I know people say it will get easier,don’t see how,I’m glad I found this forum speaking to people feeling the same as me and getting things of my mind thanks for helpful messages

You are not alone in being heartbroken,my wife had bladder cancer stage 4 and fought to live for many weeks but lost to it 3 weeks ago,none of us will ever be the same again,your future has been stolen from you and the pain is always there,feeling sick all the time,I have to take sleeping pills to even get a few hours sleep now.Can only eat now and again ,losing weight.This is turning into a living hell for me.

I understand everything you have said,don’t know what I’m supposed to do,I haven’t got out of bed yet,it’s only another day of heartbreak what’s the use

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