Christmases are a nightmare to me since i lost my husband the loveliness is too much, in my tribe the month of December clans come together, those in cities & far away travel back to ancestral homes with their families,they gather & clan Elders give clan name to kids born in the yr,slaughter cows,goats ,cook food ,roast meat, drink . Elders tell stories, teach culture,traditions,customs, norms,arrange singing & dancing competitions between clans, local wrestling among men, Christmas here is community thing. In all these, my son is 2yrs & he has no clan name, i just call him PRINCE since it’s not a name , i can’t give him his father’s names b’se a woman doesn’t name a child here, During this season i try & stay in doors minimize my walking to avoid confrontations from locals. Last yr on 31st i dressed like a Muslim lady with my boy,I covered him Like a girl and we went to watch fire works at community play ground ,unfortunately we’re kinda fair skinned,we don’t have a rich melanin skin, we are easily spotted among our people, my child was noticed while eating it attracted attention ,i got a terrible beating, i had managed to get some good portion of roasted meat & secured a good sitting spot but my boy blew the cover.
I don’t know what this coming December will bring.
I need a plan b’se I can’t be indoors, it hurts me a lot & December is along month this things begin from 8th that’s when most people start pouring in ,then food music, starts. I need a plan to escape the nightmare.
It sounds so difficult for you, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. I hope it helps to know that this community will be here for you this Christmas, @Peace02. On Christmas Eve, the community has a tradition of lighting a candle in remembrance of our loved ones, which anyone can join. And on Christmas Day, although its often quieter, there are usually some members around, and the community staff will be here, too. You’re not alone
I understand Christmas is hard when you’ve lost a loved one my first Christmas was terrible and when I had my first dinner wich contained mashed potatoes I said nothing tasted right anymore
I know your feelings . This will be the first Christmas without my dear wife. And it’s also her birthday on the 23rd of December. I can’t wait for Christmas and New year to be over. On Christmas day I’ll have my usual ready meal . Bottle of wine and lay on the bed with my dog and watch the rubbish on telly.
Last year was my first w/out my husband, but this one is harder. I think I was still numbed out last year. The music in the grocery store was really getting to me today. I was just feeling like I had to get out of there. Anxiety. I never was a big Christmas person, but he was. I guess just allow the feelings to come and go.
Haha. I took the tree down early one year and he complained. Ok, I put it back up that night for him. Then he said, “You didn’t have to do it tonight.” Grrr. “Your tree is up, be happy,” I said. We liked to tease each other.
Morning Nancy. My dear wife always sorted out the Christmas tree. Ordered all the Christmas presents for family ect. I wouldn’t know how to start. So I’ve told everyone Christmas is cancelled this year. I’ll just get some money wallets and put money in for the grandkids and that’s it. I was thinking earlier wouldn’t it be nice if everyone who has lost a love one could all get together every 4 months for a drink and a chat so we can all talk face to face and actually meet the people we message. X
I am in the US so that would be hard. But, I think bereaved people should talk w/ each other because we get how difficult it is. I just read about a group in Massachusetts who get together to walk every week and discuss things. It helps.
This will also be my first Christmas with out my husband . I not looking forward to it although I won’t be on my own I will have family with me Christmas Eve and Boxing Day .
Found in karamonja region, my husband’s people are called dodoth people, some clans are nomadic herdsmen others are not. my husband’s clan are not nomadics. Just their beliefs are disturbing.
maybe you can come and see wild animals, we are near kidepo national park.
Oh I’ve got family could go there for Christmas dinner. But don’t want to I’ve just been to Waitrose got my Christmas dinner ready meal in and a few other bits.i want to spend Christmas on my own just me and the dog have a bottle of wine. And a couple of bourbon whiskey and coke. And lay on bed watching TV. X
& secured a good sitting spot but my boy blew the cover.
I need a plan to escape the nightmare.
. I can’t wait for Christmas and New year to be over. You take care . X
But, I think bereaved people should talk w/ each other because we get how difficult it is. I just read about a group in Massachusetts who get together to walk every week and discuss things. It helps.
