The other Christmas thread is so long and I didn’t have the emotional energy to read it all. Sorry.
It’s my second Christmas without my beloved husband. The quirky tree decorations we gathered over 32 years together are still in the loft. I can’t imagine ever getting them out again. It’s such a waste. We loved them but what’s the point now? We always got a real tree. Never again. No cooking lunch together. All of our little traditions dead too. I am just so deeply crushingly sad and lonely and grief stricken. I have nowhere for all that love to go. Everything feels so utterly joyless and pointless. Christmas like birthdays, anniversaries, Valentines day and so on is just another punch in the guts.
I don’t really know what I’m saying except that I can’t wait for Christmas and New Year to be over. Sending love and hugs to you all as we suffer alone but also together in here.
I’m so sorry to hear about your husband and how you are feeling this Christmas time. Important dates can feel extra hard, but we’re here to help if you need us.
You might find our guide to coping with important dates useful, Sue Ryder Grief Guide
If you do find yourself needing extra support this Christmas, please visit our online bereavement support at sueryder.org/support The community is here for you, too.
I am new to this group . My mum passed away last Thursday after a very short illness. My heart is ripped out , l feel so lost , mum was 80, l am 56yrs , l know people mean we’ll wen they say mum so 80 a good age, this means nothing to me . I am angry when walking around, seeing people with mum’s, l am get angry, l want my mum back . Mum was in a care home which loved , l got mum out the hospital as l promised mum this . My dad lives at home he is blind and l have a sister, neice, mum was in the home due to a spinal Injury during covid also complex mental health needs , l fought to thevend and always advocated for mum , l feel l have lost my mum and my loss of the role l had , please help .
I am so sorry for your loss , no matter what people say they will never know the pain how we feel until they go through it
My mum passed suddenly in June this year and I can’t get the decorations or real tree or anything from previous Christmas’
I feel not only it’s not the same but almost disrespectful if I went ahead as normal.
Bought a new tree and let the kids utilise lots of other decorations from spare trees / crafts / etc as we need to somehow pretend to go ahead with all of it
I’m sorry you don’t have your husband anymore . Can’t imagine how you feel. Hope you get some comfort from this site
It’s a horrible time if you’ve lost a loved one, I’ve just been out for a couple of hours to the shops but got no pleasure out of the trip. I looked around at people shopping with bags and trolleys full of food getting on with life. We have decided not to celebrate this year, no decorations, no tree all of which are still in the loft, because my mum passed away in July this year and my dad 3 years ago on January 1st new year’s day.
Christmas will never be the same again, we just want it to pass quickly , thinking of everyone in the same frame of mind.
Totally valid that you choose to not celebrate. I know how you feel with the shopping trip….. I was looking around thinking that I want to shout out that my mums died and I’m not ok. But then I don’t want anyone to think I’m not coping.
I don’t know who to talk to, don’t want to be a burden or upset loved ones, strangers won’t care.
