Having lost my husband at Easter this is my first Christmas on my own. I thought long and hard about what to do about cards and couldn’t bear the thought of just putting my name of them. Instead I have made a donation to the British Heart Foundation (John died of a cardiac arrest in bed beside me). All my family and friends are aware and they have been so supportive even doing the same themselves. Of course I wish everyone a Happy Christmas. I have to be strong for my children and my grandchildren and push through the festive period as best I can.
God bless you all.
Georgina
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Received my first Xmas card today from a friend wishing me the happiest of Christmas . I couldn’t believe she could be so insensitive I ripped it up and put it in bin
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I received one this morning to me and John from a friend I haven’t seen for years - she obviously didn’t know so I have sent her a note thanking her for the card and explaining the situation. I know she will
be mortified to think she’s upset me but she hasn’t as she wouldn’t have known. People don’t mean to be insensitive even when they do know it just they sometimes don’t know what to say for the best.
Georgina
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I lost my partner of 28 years to cancer 7 weeks ago. It was always me that wrote the Christmas cards but not this year. I’m sorry my hearts just not in it, There will be many people that don’t know about her passing away and will send cards addressed to both of us and I’ll have to contact them and inform them of my loss. That won’t be easy for them or me. I’m not looking forward to Christmas one bit , Best wishes to you Georgie15, All of us will get through it ,although it won’t be easy, because we have to.
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Peter
As expected I heard back from the friend that sent us both a card and she was so upset. Of course she didn’t know and I filled her in on what had happened. Can’t imagine this will be the only one I’ll receive but hopefully I can deal with them as and when they fall on the mat. I’ve posted my neighbours a few as they have all been so kind and I feel it’s the least I can do in return.
We can do this - get through Christmas and get rid of this awful year.
Georgina
Hi Peter
I know that this isn’t the same, but the first Christmas after I left my husband, (it was an abusive marriage, so I was better off out of it), I typed a round Robin Christmas letter telling people that we’d separated. I didn’t go into details. I think that I just said that we’d separated and put that in with all the Christmas cards to those who didn’t know. It wasn’t an easy letter to write, but in my case it was the best way of letting people know who I wasn’t in regular contact, and less painful than having to write a note to everyone.
Your circumstances are different to mine and you might feel more comfortable contacting people individually. The round Robin letter could be replaced by a round Robin email, so that you’re not constantly having to say the same thing again and again. It might make it a little less painful and easier to tell people.
I understand this completely. My husband last November and I asked people not to send me cards. I did not do any either. However this year I have written close family friends cards although it was hard. Any that I have received I don’t read but have put them up. Reading them is too raw still. I haven’t put up any decorations or a tree and strangely don’t even miss them. I feel no pressure to do anything and will do what I can cope with.
Thinking of you all x
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Hi
Wow I thought it was juts me
Every card I got I put in the bin straight away, it killed me to receive them, I am grieving as I lost my mum 10 months ago, I stayed with her in her bed till the very end, she was only 54, my mum is my best friend, I’m so utterly heartbroken, Christmas juts makes things all seem so more more emotional, after reading your post about the way you lost your husband, I’m so sorry, such a cruel world we live, I want ti reach out to you and send my condolences, be strong
Hi
I had written this but didn’t realise I hadn’t posted, think it may be the brain fog.
You are all being so brave in your own individual ways, my husband died in August, both my daughters and I are dreading Christmas and also couldn’t face sending cards. Instead we set up a just giving page in his name for Weldmar Nurses who gave him such brilliant care. We have sent a link to family and friends saying we are not sending cards or presents this year but have donated to this in Paul’s name instead it has given us a small sense of comfort. Look after and care for yourselves
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I lost my hubby to cancer nearly 9 years ago and I still find it hard writing cards of any description, he was my soul mate and my best friend, we had a wonderful time together and so looking forward to going on a cruise for our ruby wedding, sad to say it never happened, I still grieve now and my eldest son said to me only yesterday? Why don’t I celebrate new year anymore I said it’s not the same without dad and he replied it’s as if I almost thrive on it, he hasn’t got a clue I’m not looking for sympathy from anyone just understanding about my feelings,
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I lost my mum before Christmas last year she was in hospital so I was keeping them for mum when she came home. Even now I can’t open them I’ve just stuck them in a drawer.
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