Christmas cards received for those we have lost.

Feeling incredibly low tonight. Received a Christmas card last year for my Mum and I from an old friend who had slipped through the net when I let people know she had passed away. I wrote to the friend in the new year to let them know and apologised for being so remiss as to not notify them at the time.

Today received a card again for Mum from the same person but this year they have left me off the card. I honestly cannot be bothered to go through the whole thing of writing again. I assume it is not deliberate but it just feels incredibly crass and has upset me a great deal. I may well tear the card up and throw it away.

Oh that is terrible, I’m so sorry for you having to go through that. The person is obviously confused.
I had a similar thing when I contacted our house insurers to take my husbands name off the policy, all seemed to be straightforward but then I got a letter from them addressed to my husband saying they were sorry that I had died! Fortunately it arrived on a “good” day and I was able to ring them again and point out that just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse I’ve apparently died too and they were mortified. It is crass to not take the trouble to get these details right and I understand how upsetting this must be. Throw the card away if that is your instinct. Whatever makes you feel better. Xx

Hi Sharron

Thank you for replying. I have kept the card but will not display it obviously. It can go in the recycling after Christmas with the others.

I saw another of Mum’s friends at the weekend who took one look at me, asked me when I had last eaten and said they would make me tomatoes on toast. Just a small act of kindness, from someone whose husband passed away just before Mum, and made such a difference to me. I am lucky in so many of Mum’s friends who want to ‘mother’ me!