I will not get through Christmas Day anymore without the one I loved so much.Michael.
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This will be my second Christmas without my husband. Do not even want to think about it.
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This will be my first Christmas without pauline and Iām dreading it and itās also her birthday in December she always said she would never make it to her mums age her mum was 53 and she was right she would have been 53 this December
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This will be my first without my beloved wife ,will not be Christmas for me ever again.
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I can understand that. I no longer celebrate my birthday. Every occasion we sent each other a secret message in the cards we exchanged. That now is impossible.
We do have two little grandsons so like last year I will put up the tree in some fashion and recreate the things we did for our own kids. Then when I get home - like last year - no doubt just cry the rest of the time.
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It all seems such a waste of time now,who wants to celebrate anything anymore without the one you love beside you.This gut wrenching grief is awful,no appetite,cannot sleep for long,wander from room to room ,talking to her all the time,the whole house is her ,ornaments,pictures ,the garden ,I am at a loss what to do,I just do not want to be here anymore but what are you supposed to do about it,one week after her funeral and I am a complete mess,wish I could go to sleep and not wake up.Michael.
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Aw it is truly awful, I feel for you & everyone of us that is going through this. Nothing that anyone can do or say will make things any easier. You will get through it in your own way - none of us ever get over our loss - we just put on a brave face & learn to cope. Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries all make things so much more difficult. You think why is everyone having a good time, when Iām left feeling like this. Try to keep strong & look after yourself, our other halfās would not want us feeling like this. Take care & keep writing & messaging, it does help.
Also 2nd Christmas for me. Last year Trevorās nephew kindly asked me and I had a reasonable time. However, I donāt want to be the person people feel they must ask. So this year, I have asked my 95 year old father and his wife for lunch, in the knowledge that they will leave around 3pm. I will have done my duty and can then spend the rest of the day, watching rubbish tv eating chocolate and drinking prosecco. That way, there is no embarrassment if I cry and I can talk to Trev during the day.
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Dear Mickeyboy31
Apologies for the delay in responding. Have been to a family funeral today. Same crem. as I said goodbye to my husband. Just about held it together but came straight back from the Service. We have two little grandsons and although I wish I could join my husband I continue on so that I can tell them all about their granda and what a great man he was.
I find that the insomnia comes in waves just as the grief does. I can sometimes get a decent nights sleep only for the sleeplessness to return, particularly as I approach anniversaries or special occasions.
Please keep sharing on this forum.
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Hello Sheila26 ,apology accepted,I have a funeral to go to next month of a family friend,he was my late sons best man and now he has died from cancer of the spine ,only 54,I will honour him as I have known him since he was 10.I am taking sleeping pills ,my Doctor called me in to discuss my problems and was quite happy to give me some more.The grieving is awful ,some days uncontrollable ,lots of crying for her.Miss her more each day and always will. Michael
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Dear Mickeyboy31
That is a lovely gesture. Through the shock of my husbandās death that was all I had left that I could do for him was to make sure that his Service honoured him.
Grief is something that we cannot comprehend at this level until it happens to us. It is just indescribable to others who have not lost their soulmate. Keep posting, we do understand.
Sheila x
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Hi, I have trouble sleeping too. Spoke to my GP and was prescribed medication. I only take them when I have had a run of several nights with little sleep, in fact the last 10 tablets lasted over a year. But the occasional decent night makes a lot of difference.
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Oh my I have to take them every night or I would be staring at the ceiling all night long.Michael.
Dear Sheila,thank you for the lovely message,I made sure that those who attended my wifes funeral all knew how much I love and cherished her ,the vicar spoke for me as I was unable to ,I was in bits.Michael.
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