It’s been just over 2 years since I lost ,y brother suddenly, I used this site so much when he first passed and found everyone so very helpful, as Christmas is getting so close again i am feeling so very sad that I won’t be seeing him again at Christmas, I have found myself thinking of him 24/7 , I don’t say anything to anyone not even my husband as I don’t think they get it, just wanted to know if there are other people still feeling like this or is it just me ? Christmas just makes me so sad when it use to be such a happy time but I just can’t seem to get into Christmas, I just wish I could talk to my brother .
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Iam so sorry for your loss, I lost my husband 2yrs ago & it has never gotten better ,grieving is a personal thing, people never understand until it’s their turn. I don’t like Christmases people celebrate while iam alone crying myself out from 15th to New yr, its a period of terror.
Enjoy your husband’s company, you will feel better atleast he is with you.
Peace 02
Thank you for your reply, I am so sorry about your Husband and that you are so alone,
Yes I don’t think people fully understand until it happens to them, I know we are grieve and deal with things differently, I hate it when people say ,oh cheer up it’s nearly Christmas, but that’s the point they get it so I just get on with it on my own even though I have quite a big family.
I always try and think I know he would be saying don’t be silly get on with things but it is so hard and I think because I never got to see him as he died at home alone on his own it’s always going through my mind but I know I can’t change anything.
I do hope you can have as a nice Christmas as possible take care
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Hello Jenny8
I feel just like you do now but it is my husband I lost two and half years ago and like you I feel I can’t speak to anyone about it. People can be understanding but somehow I feel that they just don’t get it so I need places like this to come to to hopefully find people who know what I am feeling. My husband never really was one for Christmas and was a bit bah humbug about it all but made an effort when our son was little and when the arrival of our little granddaughter came he made an effort for that too. The irony is though, even though he didn’t really like Christmas, he loved cooking so was in his element making the Christmas dinner that was always his thing. I now have another little granddaughter she just arrived last month (October) so hoping it will be a little bit more special this year but just so sad my husband is not here to see it. I feel his loss so much more this winter my 3rd one without him. My first two were ok and I got through them ok but for some reason this year I feel it so much more. I think maybe because I had two big life events this year. Our son got married in February this year and my new little granddaughter as I said arrived last month and he has not been here to see both. I had a very bad bout of depression around June/July this year also and I went to the GP and she said it was understandable what I was going through and the last few years may have just caught up with me with losing my husband and everything we had to go through before he passed and to cap it all my older sister got cancer two months after he passed but she has recovered from it- twice! both bowel and breast cancer. She also has learning and mental health difficulties and I have become her carer. Yes I think it is just the time of the year and a lot of people feel like this at this time of year. Feels like this most of the year but I think at this time it is more magnified I think because you are at home more and more time to think. I wish you well moving forwards. Take Care. Vicky x
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Hi Vicky
Thank you so much for your reply, i am so sorry for the loss of your husband, and your sister having cancer life can be so crule.
I lost my sister 11 years ago she had COPD and had it quite I few years before she passed but we was all by her side and it was very peaceful, but didn’t have that with my brother which is what I can’t get my head around.
I am glad you have family which is growing nicely by the sounds of it , I do have family but they all live 200 miles away so not easy.
As you said this has been your worse Christmas and I think this is going to be mine I just hope I can get through it without to much upset, I hope you have a good Christmas with your family and make lots of lovely memories take care thanks for listening and understanding x
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