Shazzer
It is only natural for you to feel panicky and scared at having to go back to your home alone.
We suddenly wonder what our purpose in life is now.
Try to be kind to yourself. The grief journey is traumatic and overwhelming.
Thinking of you.
Take care. 
I hate mornings when it all hits me again , another day of anxiety and loneliness, I can’t believe my husbands gone, i realise everything he did now , even to putting the bins out, it was so sudden and unexpected I can’t cope at all without him 
@Babycake it is so hard, still hits me every morning & always will. Although we never actually slept in this bed together, we were sleeping on the sofa bed whilst this one was waiting to be put together. Whilst my husband was in hospital our daughter & son in law put it together for us to sleep in when he came home & he never did Coming home to a house without them in it is something you never get used to. But it is something we have to learn to live with in this journey. Sending love & strength 
xx
My husband was out the night before at bingo, i couldn’t go because of an eye operation i had just had, he came home, had a beer, we watched tv and then went to bed, 6am that morning he made a loud noise, I phoned ambulance and had to do cpr on him until they came but unfortunately he wasn’t saved 
, i just can’t get over any of this, im struggling to manage as my soul mate has gone
This is so like my loss. One minute chatting next minute I’m doing cpr. I’m not sure how we move on without them. I keep listening to grief talks but they distract they don’t change this feeling of loneliness. I’m able to cope with a few weeks but that thought of 30 years without him makes me want to scream. I am 53 this isn’t my life. I need him.
I feel for you, i know exactly how you are feeling, im 61 and I think a life without my husband is terrible, I just can’t imagine what im going to do, the quietness and loneliness is terrible 
Julia 12 So wonderfully expressed.