Hi
My husband too died in April 2021 and agree my first Christmas without him was horrible but I gave in to my children and spent time with them and my grandchildren. No Christmas is ever going to be the same but at least this year I’m giving it a go and been out and about shopping and gearing up to it. I shall light a candle Xmas Eve in the window so John can see it from heaven and wish him a happy christmas. I did this last year and although I cried buckets I felt I was doing something for him.
Hi Mel I actually went away my first Christmas with my family which was lovely. This year I am strangely looking forward to being at home with family. My husband passed away fifteen months ago and he absolutely loved Christmas so for him I am going to crack on. I promise life will go on and you will survive although things seem so hard at the moment. Stay strong.
It will be my first Christmas this year as my husband died early this year , I’ve had invitations from family and friends but actually want to be alone to think about him this year , I’d prefer to be on my own on Christmas Day to reflect . So it awaits to be seen how it goes …
Hi Georgie15
Reading your post and it was as if I had written it as it’s exactly how last year was for me. Mark died in sept and like you didn’t do much and spent the day with family but it’s all a bit of a blur. I didn’t send cards and made a donation to Marie Curie and will probably do the same this year. I have actually done some Christmas shopping so an improvement on last year but Christmas will never be the same again. Xx
Me too @Louise12.
I’ve opted to spend it alone and reflecting too.
I’m hoping for a cold, crisp dry day and I shall sweep leaves and feed the birds.
We will get through it, just as we got through today and yesterday.
As you say, we just have to see how it goes.
Hi Barbara
No special occasion will ever be the same but we will get used to it. That does a mean we will miss them any less. I’ve been out and about getting bits and pieces. Everyone around me is so kind so I’m trying to give something back by joining in with the festivities. My heart will once again break Xmas morning waking alone but I shall join my son and his family and travel to Johns sister Boxing Day. It’s only a couple of days I’m sure we’ll through it.
I will also be waking on my own on Christmas morning then going to my daughter’s in laws who have kindly invited me. Boxing Day then spent with my sister and her family. The bad part is coming home to be alone xx
I’m spending Christmas with my youngest son and his family this year it will be good to see his 66 year old waking up and openning his presents on Christmas morning . If it falls through for any reason my cousin has invited me to spend the day with her and her family .Going back to am empty house is always going to be hard. I still shout out I’m back or I’m home when I open the door ir seems to help somehow x
Same here when I go out I always say “won’t be long” and the same when I return “I’m back !!” I think it’s because I feel he’s always with me at home sometimes think I must be crazy but hey who’s not. I agree coming back to an empty house is the pits something we’ll never get used to.
Wishing you a very happy Christmas however you decide to spend it.
I have just lost my husband on 23rd November, his birthday is the 16th December, then we have his funeral on 20th December then Christmas. I miss him so so much
Hi Sharon, in so sorry for your loss, mine is 12 months on 12 December. It’s a hard time for all of us especially at this time of year. We will always miss them, please keep posting everyone on here know what you are going through. When you need to talk, there is always someone here who will listen
Take care Big Hugsxxx
Thank you, it means a lot. I am scared of the future. He always did everything. I am trying to make him proud of me, he always believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself
So sorry you have suffered such a recent terrible loss. I lost my darling husband in April so I’m further down the line but have also recently had his birthday and we are not looking forward to Christmas.
I too feel determined to make my husband proud and am taking on everything I am capable, or think there’s a chance I’m capable of doing. Tomorrow begins a new challenge for me and my daughter in that we have sheep grazing our land from today and Richard did all the looking after them in the past. I didn’t even know which fields had access to water, which had gates which could close the field off and which to graze together. I hope he’ll be watching over me as I try to learn it.
Sending you love and strength for the next few weeks. I hope you will find the strength to keep doing whatever you feel you have to. xxx
Thank you, send you lots of love and positive thoughts, I didn’t realise how much hubby did for us. I just did the wifey things and he did the men things. I must admit all of the companies I have phoned have been so good. Everything seems so daunting. Even changing the the sky package made me cry as I wasn’t sure if I did it right I went from living with my Pareto moving into hubby’s new house. What has given me strength is I know he always believed in me even when I didn’t believe in myself. He always said I able to do more than I thought I could x x
This will be my first Christmas without Rachel, she was only 50 and died on 15 Feb. She loved Christmas. She always made amazing home made gifts for family and friends and I just can’t face it. I have great friends and family but it will never be the same again and I just want to hide. I am crying as I write this because it’s so hard, I can’t sleep but know I need to get through it somehow. Sadly it was about this time last year she started to feel unwell, then diagnosed with Cancer and died at home within 4 weeks.
Hi, this will be my 2nd Xmas without my husband . Last year was really hard to get through the day . Even though I tried my best for my kids and grandkids it was a disaster. I was still in shock and numb at the time .my husband died in the September. This year the reality of it all and knowing that this is my existence now is even worse. I am trying to just think of it as another day to get through .nothing special. I won’t be putting a tree or decorations up or sending cards . The same as last year. Don’t think I ever will again. Hope you find a way to cope.sending love to all at this unmerry season xtake carex
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This to is my 1st Christmas and Christmas Eve would have been Geoffs birthday, I wanted to say to everyone I’m not doing it and hibernate under my duvet. But I sat on my own at the weekend and thought he would say “what are you doing girl” we always celebrated birthdays and had big family Christmas days so I’m going to put my big girl pants on and make the best of whatever these two days throw at me. If I cry I cry.
I hope everyone else can do whatever feels best for them as my thoughts will be with everyone grieving during the holiday session xx
Last Christmas was my first Christmas and felt exactly the same. I wanted to hide away and have nothing to do with it but I spent the day with family and I got through it. I knew mark would want me to to do that.
This year I still haven’t got much enthusiasm for it but I haven’t got so much dread about it as last year.
You will get through it xx
We all feel that dread of this holiday but in reality it’s just another day but with a twist to it. We will always carry the scars and sometimes we can’t resist scratching them. They are part of us so we’ll put on those big girl pants and face the day raising a glass to that empty chair and say We Love You Still and support our children and grandchildren to share their day with their absent loved one and remember the laughter and love they brought into our lives and they live on through them Be brave xx
sometimes think I must be crazy but hey who’s not. I agree coming back to an empty house is the pits something we’ll never get used to.
however you decide to spend it.
