Christmas round the corner getting harder without my partner. we would going christmas shopping, now the decorations would be up. I haven’t done it this year. Family and friends have asked me to come over. I’m not staying at home on my own. I don’t know if any of you are going through where you want to talk about your loved ones you loss but people want to change thd subject then you just feel alone.
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Right this minute, go put up a Christmas decoration in your home. Later on, put up another. Pick your favorites. Go to the holiday events and don’t expect everyone to center their attention on your brand new widowhood, this is not what the celebration is about and the whole point is to dress up and get up out of your house and your own head for a while. Embrace the distractions. Leave whenever you want, everyone will be glad you showed up. It will do you a world of good.
Unless you are talking to a widow or widower, people don’t get it at all, so truly just limit that subject. Half of them will get it one day, but meanwhile, they want to have a good time, not a sad time. Who can blame them?
Our lives stopped, not theirs. Listen to their stories of what they are doing, it is interesting to hear and talk about anything other than the massive hole in our life. It will be there when the party is over.
Plus, you are going to get hugs aplenty.
Much love.
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Good advice Peaches Dixon. A woman I met briefly yesterday wished me a heartfelt ‘wonderful Christmas’. I just said ‘thankyou’ She had no idea this wiil be my first Christmas without my husband of over 45 years.
My way of dealing with Christmas this year is to just let it pass me by. Cards I’m receiving I’m just putting in a shoebox. Not sending any. I’m going away to stay with my ‘single’ daughter. We can be sad together.
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But we will have a nice time too. She loves to have a big Christmas tree and has booked for us to go to the Carol service in the Cathedral on Christmas Eve. Also she’s planning to join a mass run into the sea in fancy dress. (I think I might just watch)
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I decided that being “home alone” or going to join in with the festivities with other people, weren’t the only options. So I look for another option, which is normally just going out for a good walk in the hills with my dogs, (talking to my wife most of the way), a pint in a country pub, then home to have a non-traditional xmas banquet and a bottle of wine. Then settling down on the settee under a heated blanket, dogs lying on top of me, watching a film.
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thisn is my 3rd yr without dave, i have not stopped doing xmas, my tree is up, pressies wrapped, turkey in the freezer, other bits we need got. its just one day like any other day, only difference is we give each other presents.
if the romans had not been so bored and wanting a longer holiday, xmas would have been left in july. only thing i would love is a white one
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I have my son who isn’t married with me at Christmas. My cat died recently and we have been talking about her always wanting the left over bits if meat. There is a communal Xmas free lunch. Wish i could have it as a meals on wheels like in the old days instead.
My son isn’t into being with a lot of folk.
I am fed up with the christmas meal as have had three (two free) and one expensive one in a restaurant. Felt a stretch without my husband the first year but second year sat by a widower and chatted.
Last year was a chap who had been widowed six years who said to me after only anly a year it is too soon to get over it.
That was his experience. It helped me to get out to where I chose to go. This year I sat by a frail widower with a sharp mind like my husband had. So reminded me of him. My hhsband was weak at the end with a sharp mind. Looked nothing like each other.
But had an insight into what if would have been like if my husband had lived another ten years.
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