I love my family so much try to do Christmas but it was my husband’s best time of year I do try but feel very lonely and struggle so much
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Hi NannySue. I’m so sorry for the pain you’re going through. I really know how you are feeling about Christmas as it is my wife’s favourite time. I suppose I should say “was” but that’s hard. She’d already bought many presents, but I haven’t a clue who each item is intended for, as she also bought for many of her friends. I too love my family so much, but I’m not sure how I’ll cope this first Christmas either. I’m lonely at times, even with 19 close family literally a stone’s throw away, and I struggle too - all I can do is try to do my best, for the grandchildren though. If I cry, I cry - and I don’t worry too much what others think.
I’m sure you’ll do your best to make things as “normal” as possible, whatever that means, and I know that if you end up in tears the family will all understand. If that does happen I’m going to try not to worry about it - it’s natural after all isn’t it? We’ll probably end up with all of us in tears too. So I’m going to try to make it a celebration of all the past Christmases we’ve had and we’ll certainly raise a glass or two in memory.
My wife always quoted Padre Pio, “Pray, hope and don’t worry”. So I’d say, pray it isn’t as difficult as you think it’s going to be, hope you can handle it and don’t worry if you can’t.
God bless. You can do this! M
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Hi Nannysue06; this is my first Christmas as a widow and I too am doing Christmas for everyone else, including my little grandson but some days it is overwhelming. You are not alone in this and sometimes it does feel lonely because it feels like everyone else around you has someone to share it with . This weekend has been especially emotional, probably just because Christmas is approaching and I find I cry at the drop of a hat - I’m crying now reading these posts.
My family are doing their best to start new traditions and only time will tell how that works out when I look back later in the month. I just cling to the fact that I’m not on my own going through this, hundreds of other people are in the same boat and we will get through it somehow.
I’ve found a local bereavement group who meet socially and that helps as it’s face to face with those who truly understand and (in my case) are further on in their journey and able to tell me that what I feel is all normal.
You are stronger than you think, you’ve got this x
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