I have many clothes from my husband and I am starting to get them together for a street collection tomorrow. I am still crying when I gather his things together because it feels like a betrayal. Philmore told me that he could never get rid of my books or DVDs because everything is related to nice memories and to me and now I am planning to sell part of his Blu-Rays and books and give the clothes to charity collections. But I think he will understand that I need to carry on without him and that I think he would support the good causes I give the clothes to and donate money to certain charities. He had even a donor card. I still have so much other stuff (photos, music, soft toys, cards we send each other, etc.) that I think he would not mind when I have a clear out. I have to make my life as easy as possible and I am not getting healthier. How do you handle this situation? Sending love and hugs to everyone.
I didn’t have much of a problem getting rid of Keef’s clothes, most of his were rather tatty as he didn’t really worry about looking smart once he was no longer at work, consequently I got rid of most of them quite early on just keeping a few things which have some sort of emotional attachment to. However, his books I need to get rid of (he was a pagan/druid so had many books about that which wasn’t really my cup of tea!). I was going to keep most of his CDs as our collection overlapped and the music holds lovely memories. However, I do still have 11 bottles of whisky so I now need to find some people to help me with that as I don’t really drink much now!! We all have to do what we feel is right for us and should never force ourselves to do something just because someone might have suggested it’s the right thing to do!
My husband also had bottles of whisky. I am giving one to a neighbour who has been very good to me. He was a Freemason so the rest will go to them to raffle for the Masonic charities.
I have a 5-liter bottle of oil and a few bottles of hot sauce to give away. I hardly cook and I do not like the hot sauce. I hope that his nephew will take the foodstuff when he picks up my husband’s car. Because my husband was still working he had really good shirts, trousers and shoes. Some are not even worn. I already gave most of his shirts and trousers away because I washed them the day he died and I just could not have them around me because of that stressful memory. Sending love and hugs.
It is these choices which are so difficult to make. I lost my dear husband eight months today and, apart from his underwear, socks and shoes, I have everything. His son has his leather jacket,
I hope to move next year and will need to downsize, so big decisions. I have decided I will keep a favourite t-shirt, pullover, dress suit waist coat and his university tie. He played the piano and I will keep the sheet of music he last played from, and his tennis racket. Photographs, letters and cards to each other etc., , I will always treasure.
I have a special box where I keep his glasses, watches, wallet, driving licence, passport, keyring and other small personal items.
I think we all have to do what is personal to us and in some cases necessary. Whatever you decide is not a betrayal and your husband would understand.
Good luck, sending hugs.
Just about all my husbands clothes have gone. All I have left now are a few suits, 1 shirt and a jacket. It was necessary. I had no sentimental attachment to his clothes.
I have some sentimental attachments … my husband wore his dress suit waistcoat at the children’s weddings and reminds me of our wonderful cruise nights.
I still will keep his kilt because he wore it at our wedding. And he had also certain favourite t-shirts and hoodies I could wear and feel close to him.
Hi Anna - just have to say that is a beautiful photo of the 2 of you, just lovely. Life is so cruel to us. Take care.
Thank you. It was a really lovely day. I still cannot believe that I am on my own now and that I will not see him again - still feel that he is around me.
I know what you mean, I feel exactly the same. 2 years for me & still miss him so much. And want my life back. xx
Beautiful picture, Anna.
My Philmore was such a gentle and caring soul. He will always be my beloved husband.
It is definitely not a betrayal. It is not a measure of the love you shared. Your memories are the treasures to hold on to.
I was very surprised at how emotional I felt clearing my husband’s clothes. They are bagged up in garage, waiting for sister to remove them, couldn’t put them to local charity shops. I agree, it felt like a betrayal, as if I was throwing him away. Have donated some of his DVDs and a local shop gave me £15 for some old comic books, I will pass this onto Parkinson’s in his honour. I have all his music - vinyl, CDs, hundreds of his own compilations. I will keep these but it will be painful to play them. We need to find the right balance, keep what has meaning and let the rest go but it’s not easy. I even feel guilty for moving some of the furniture without discussing it with him!
What a beautiful photo. xx
Such a beautiful photo. x
I’m going to do some patchwork with my dear husband’s shirts.
Just not ready to sort out my husbands clothes. I have put everything out of sight though because it’s too painful to look at them. He had some really nice clothes. I’ve decided I might start by giving away his coats in the winter to a homeless shelter! J x
Me too. At least that’s a plan. I did patchwork decades ago, machine and hand stitched. More recently been dabbling in ‘textile art’ which now seems utterly pointless and pretentious so I’ m hoping I can go back to my roots and create something functional.