So i’ve been awake for hours - which was usual when Dave was here as he had sleep issues.
My alarm has just gone off and he would always say Coffee my lady? and he would get up even though he didn’t need to and make sure I had it before work.
ii guess it’s just something simple that you miss?
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It so is. I lost Alan suddenly and without warning at Christmas. He always insisted on taking me to work and I still scan the car park for his car when I come out. My brain knows it’s not going to be there but my heart lives in hope. Take care x
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Hi @Arvia @Bevanne21
I know what you both mean.
My husband passed away over 8 months ago. I dont drive he took m everywhere picked me up from work shops. He looked after the garden decorating DIY now doing things differently. Travelling by bus on line shopping looking at gardener to help and DIY and decorating not sure how to handle that.
He always made coffee too in the morning.
Our lives have changed so much now living on my own after 35 years of marriage is not good but i guess its what i have too do now. No family and my friends live in different towns so finding the times hard.
Looking to do volunteering in March to get out and meet people and help others.
Take care stay strong look after yourself
We will get through these dark days
Lynne 
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I echo everything you say. I haven’t posted for a few weeks because I spiralled into the abyss again after Christmas and didn’t have the energy to post. The stress of getting through the festive season caught up with me again. After finding my husband gone while mowing the grass in September I haven’t been able to look at or go in the garden, but this week it’s been made low maintenance while keeping a lot of his plants. It has made it different enough that I can now cope with being in it, and although it’s heartbreaking to alter what he has done over the years I think I’ll be able to sit in it in the summer a bit more peacefully. Because he could turn his hand to anything I didn’t ever need to worry about maintenance and now I hate asking for favours from people. I’ve decided to stay here and make it as age friendly as possible.
That’s the practical side of losing him. The loss of his presence, his love, his sense of humour, our future plans is something that I can’t find a solution to and I don’t know how to deal with that. We can only learn to live alongside our grief.
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