Collected My Husbands Ashes Today

I went to collect his ashes today, I went on my own caught a bus and a train, the same back.
Managed to keep it together until I got home. But now I am in bits, I took him on the train that we traveled on together to and from work each day, I walked home the same route we walked home together every work day. I thought this is the last time we will walk this way together. It’s all so unbearable, I don’t know where to put him, I’m glad he’s home but I’m so very sad

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Dear Lilyboost

So sorry. I know that when I brought my husband’s ashes home it was a very difficult time and that was without following a route we had both followed together. I eventually scattered his ashes 10 months after he had died with our children and grandson’s present. It was on a beach that we had spent many a family holiday and a place that we enjoyed taking the dog.

I could not find any comfort of having him in our little bungalow. But only you will know what will bring you comfort. Take your time before making that decision.

Hugs and thinking of you.
Sheila xxx

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Very sorry Lilyboost. I brought my wifes ashes home in May this year it wasn’t as bad as I expected, I’m happy she’s back at home where she wanted to be, I’ve been asked for some of her ashes by close family, but refused. I find it a comfort that she’s home and often talk to her. My plan is to keep her here until it’s my time, then have our ashes put together, so we are one again. As Sheila26 says you will know what’s right for you, take care, best wishes for you.

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I wasn’t prepared for the emotional heartbreak of picking up my husbands ashes and carrying him home in my arms, it seemed surreal to be coming home with me in a box, he had been with the funeral directors for over a month and I was just so desperate to have him home with me, he sits in the bedside table with our wedding photo and flowers and I talk to him all time, I find it a comfort to have him back with me and am going to intern him on his birthday in December if I can bear to part with them, we all are suffering such great loss and have to do what’s best for us and anything that brings some comfort xx

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Thank you for all your replies, he always wanted to be scattered in the Grand Canyon, we were married in Vegas, but it is against the law to do that there now, i shan’t travel for awhile anyway soI have put him in our bedroom for now, where he should be, I am happy that he is home, he was always such a homebody, it is where he was happiest, home once we were all in safe and the door was locked, our family all together.
It’s crazy but it seems even more real now, all this time I just kidded myself that he was at work everyday, but now here he is, such a huge part of my life, in such a small box.

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I was exactly the same as you Kath. I couldn’t bear to see my husband’s ashes in a box so my daughter collected them and kept them at her house for a couple of months until I felt stronger. But she kept telling me she could sense that he was not in the correct place and she had a few strange experiences so she told me she thought he felt abandoned and I agreed for her to bring him home. He is in the ⁰wardrobe now until I die,.at which time we will be buried together under a lovely tree in the Crem… .

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I struggled for months trying to decide what to do with my husbands ashes, just didn’t know what to do with them. It was made worse by the fact that I have moved as I just couldn’t maintain our old home and it was just too painful to stay there. Every fibre of the house was his handiwork, we had spent 23 years restoring it and making it into our ‘ forever’ home. But it wasn’t to be. I have bought the most beautiful memorial sculpture which can hold his ashes, no one need to know what’s inside unless I tell them and it will sit in a sunny part of the garden of my new place . That way I can always have him close and if I move he can come too. This journey is the hardest thing I have ever done, 7 months in and I am still a wreck, I paper over the cracks for the outside world but when I am alone in my house I continually breakdown. He died 5 weeks before our golden wedding anniversary, we had such plans…now nothing seems to make sense anymore. What’s the point of everything. It’s so so lonely without him. Autopilot describes life now.

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It is so painful, I have this heavy deadweight inside me, always there, if it weren’t for my kids I wouldn’t get out of bed each day, but I get up, make sure they’ve had breakfast before school, they keep me sane and functioning. It would be our 20th wedding anniversary next month, on my birthday and I don’t know how I shall make it through. :broken_heart:

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Hi
My husband was a keen gardener and I could not imagine placing his ashes anywhere other than in our garden. I have put his ashes in a biodegradable box within a huge plant pot bearing an evergreen bush and beautiful lilac and white fuschias which he loved. I have placed them in a sunny spot and talk to him every morning and evening and sometimes during the day. I can’t imagine having him anywhere other than here at home with me and I find it very comforting. It is so sad and I understand the pain that others are feeling but I try to remind myself that this life is finite and one day we all die. My husband’s passing has made me less fearful of death and I just hope that one day we will be reunited. No-one can take away the pain we feel when we lose our nearest and dearest but for me there is some comfort in knowing that there are others out there who truly understand what it feels like. God bless xx

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My husband died nearly 10 months ago I had his ashes put in beside my mum that was his wishes , I put a gravestone with his name his date of birth and the date he died engraved on it my name is there also as I’m going there aswell , I go to the grave yard every week and bring him flowers as he loved flowers I speak to him as though he was still here it gives me great comfort knowing he’s there with my mum, we put his ashes a week after the funeral one day we’ll be together , I miss so much and will love him forever till we meet again

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What a brave lady you are.I will have to do this very soon when my wifes ashes are ready for me,she wants them to go to a special place ,that will be another traunatic day for me.

I collected my husbands ashes last week very traumatic,thank God my daughter came with me I completely broke down,I’m keeping them with me,every step you take, the loss,the funeral gets harder and harder I’m so heartbroken,if it wasn’t for our lovely family wouldn’t be able to carry on,the thought of never seeing and hearing him again is torture

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Yes the thought that you are never going to see them again unless there is this other place,fills me with dread,to wake each day and they are there is so special and now it it is gone and the grieving begins all over again.

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I’ve just dragged myself out of bed,took a sleeping tablet last night same sick feeling in my chest,its still very raw for us Michael only a few weeks don’t know if it will get any better hard to imagine didn’t realise grief and heartache would be this painful.I to am dreading long dark nights without my Steve,take care

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I also dragged myself out of bed,a few hours sleep with the aid of a couple Zopiclone ,Doctor has given me some stronger ones ,I have had grief before with my parents and my son who 28 when hit by a car but this is way above that,losing my wife of 32 years has completely wiped me out.I am incomplete without her.Dreading the winter nights all alone in the dark and cold.This is not how I wanted it to end ,thought we would have a few more years together but cancer had other ideas.She never smoked ,rarely drank ,was very fit ,watched what she ate and then this happens.No justice and my life in ruins now,crying for her all the time like a baby. Michael.

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I know exactly how you feel,after losing Steve after being married for 51yrs I’m completely lost,don’t know how to handle this have to force myself to eat something can’t cook a meal Steve enjoyed my food not worth cooking now,I want to stop breaking down,can’t hardly speak,wish he could have spoken to me while in hospital but after a long surgery had 4weeks in critical care on life support its a nightmare.If it wasn’t for my family dont know what I would do,take care Michael

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Hello Christine38, I too having trouble with the eating thing,just having easy frozen meals and they are rubbish,pizzas not too bad,not good at cooking ,left that to my beautiful wife,never thought that one day she would be gone and I would have to look after myself.Selfish I know .I have family but they have their own lives and seem to move on much better than me.Michael.

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Hi Michael,I can’t be bothered doing anything nothing matters without Steve,I know he wouldn’t want me to feel this way,havnt even got up yet.Woke up feeling so depressed,looking at his photos thinking about what we would be doing today,he really enjoyed life always up early looking forward to the day,oh I miss him so bad

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Hi Christine, I went out for a drive at 7.00am this morning to clear my head,but she is still there ,the house is full of her ,how can we move on when our beloved partners are all around us.I cannot tell you how much I miss her ,she was so beautiful,my darling wife taken from me by that evil cancer,she never smoked ,hardly drank ,ate well ,loved walking and for what to die in agony. Michael.,

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It’s amazing what you can do with ashes these days. Having them as a tattoo or putting the ashes in to pieces of jewelry the idea of this for me is wonderful because certain items photos and jewelry can be very centimental anyway so it just makes it more special

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