you know…it’s a lovely way to keep a cherished memory close, and it might bring you some comfort. I just wanted to share that with you since it’s helped some friends of mine.
BTW, collecting ashes can feel really personal and I get why it can be overwhelming. But if you’re thinking about preserving them in particular, you can check out asheswithart.co.uk. They do some excellent work, turning ashes into nice art pieces.
It’s been 6 months since mum died, her funeral was in may. still havent collected her ashes partly because we don’t know what to do with them, where do we scatter them etc. The place special to her was her garden but but we’ll probably have to sell her house. She didnt believe in visiting graves but not sure how i feel about her ashes being in someone else’s garden.
Sending a hug. I havent had the guts to bring mum home yet. partly because we’re avoiding it - makes all very real. partly cos we don’t know what to do with her ashes.
The actual moment they handed me her ashes was very difficult. I couldnt speak, even to say thankyou. I just carried her out to my car and cried for a little while. I think if I had taken someone with me, it would have been worse, because I couldnt have allowed my feelings to come out, tears are good therapy.
But when I got her home and placed her next to my chair, I felt far better, she was back with her family.
I"m dreading collecting mum’s ashes - not sure what to do with them or where to scatter them. We think under her favourite tree in the garden but not sure how i feel if we have to sell her house.
Hi @Milliemobs . Take your time, you dont need a quick decision. My wife’s ashes are still sitting next to my chair, after 2 years. We made a decision that she will wait until my ashes are available, and we will both be spread on one of our favourite places, a cliff overlooking the sea on Anglesey.
Take your time, the best option for you will suddenly be clear.
I’m having my husband’s ashes hand delivered on Thursday. We used a direct cremation service. I’m terrified as it feels the last hurdle of these awful four weeks.
I’m stuck. I’m scared of doing anything.
All the “if you need anything, just say” messages from his family and our friends, well, I asked, but not even a reply.
Feeling isolated as no one I know is local.
Having for sort the house out as it’s a rental. I can’t afford both parts of the rent.
I think friends are getting tired of me. I’m the one who supports others usually. I try to behave normally but no one seems to want to listen.
I lost my beloved Philmore over a year ago, and I am still trying to find out what to do with myself and the rest of my life. I am 64 with no own family, and Philmore’s family is not very supportive (only his old and fragile parents call now and then). Did you speak to your GP about bereavement support? I am on tablets at the moment, which helps me a lot to calm myself down. I also talked to Donna from MIND, and it helped. I also find this forum very helpful. Please also check if you are entitled to Bereavement payments from the government. You are not a burden to your friends or family; you are grieving, and it is confusing and painful. I still have outbursts of tears and sadness, not as regularly as at the beginning of this nightmare journey, but it helps me to accept my outbursts. I collected Philmore’s ashes shortly after his funeral, and since then, he is in our bedroom. I also have two pillows and a T-shirt with his lovely face. One pillow is next to me on the couch, and the other is on his side of our bed. I hope you will sort out your living situation soon. The truth is that you can only rely on yourself - the kind messages of support and we will help you are mostly just hot air. I am sending love and hugs.
