Its been 16 months since my beloved David died and i am just beginning to come out of th fog andd mist. I spent 9 month turning our home ino a place of remembrance or as i thinksome people saw it…a mausoleum. Every room had photos of Davdso that when i looked up i could see him. I had cushions made with hs photo and a throw rug with our photo. Even i began to see it as obsessive and 4 months ago ban taking them down. They now reside in my bedroom so that i can talk to him each night and morning. I don’t think this will ever stop as i still talk to my mother and she died in 1996. The thing that brought me out of the malaise of not wanting o leave our home wasmy grandchildren. I began taaking each one of the 9 on a weekend away to a hotel and a special treat. Allbut two of them aw young enough to stay close to home butone i took to London and the theater and one i took the train to Exeter and we had a girlly day of shopping. These dear one remined me that i was still here with people around me ilove dearly. Now i am talking them out together…family by family to the cinema and lunch. Coming alive again is process that takes time and people who are patient with you.
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Cookknight, I am so happy that you are coming our of the fog. It is a terrible place to be. Sixteen months is about right. People say it takes a year to return to almost normal, but it isn’t so. It is more like 18 months. You are doing well to be emerging from the fog at 16 months.
You are on your way to living instead of existing. We all will get there one day.
Much love.