Now as the anniversary approaches I keep reliving his last weeks and it’s painful. I think those of us in this situation have similar
Hi Heather.
A first anniversary can be a time of disproportionate anxiety. I did not recognise my grief until 6 months after my lovely mum passed away and then coming back from the crematorium to our family house where we all lived for over 50 years, it suddenly hit me.
Knowing which stage of the grieving process I was going through didn’t help. I just sat in my chair, in my office that was mums bedroom, at my desk where the top of her bed was, in the house on my own and cried my eyes out. I had spent so much time and emotional energy, remembering all of the anniversaries that I forgot to prepare myself because I did not know how to.
I was told that the first year is hard because you have the first of the anniversaries to cope with. Birthday, funeral, wedding etc. But that the second year is harder still because it suddenly hits you that it is for good. This has been true for me but I found my third year the grieving was lighter.
I would recommend being near those who can comfort you or share your sorrow would be beneficial. Family or friends who can give you a shoulder to cry on or just share companionable silence my help you.
Good luck.