Haven’t posted for some time. I year ago today was the day I dropped my hubby off at hospital little did I know then a few weeks later he would be dead. August 12th last year he died dew to total neglect by my local hospital. What a year I’m had I lost my darling , my sister in law died ,my dad has prostate cancer and now I’m lost my home . I’m sitting here with my boxes all packed and I’m had to sort all of his belonging out and get rid of them I would have wanted to have kept them always,now all I have is a few pictures and his watch it’s all gone. I feel so depressed and alone. This time last year I had everything now I’m got nothing. And I’m still got to face the actual day. Life is so cruel. I’m had to pack up all my myself. I can’t see much of a future .
I am so sorry that you have been through so much in this past year, life can indeed be cruel. Losing Ian just over 13 months ago now has been devastating so I don’t know how I would cope if I lost my sister in law and home as well. Also, you must be worrying so much about your dad.
The only comfort I can offer is that you are not alone as you will always find friendship and support on this site. Also, I found the build up to the first anniversary much worse than the actual day itself.
Please take care of yourself and feel free to private message me if you feel it would help.
Take care of yourself,
Thank you Julie for taking the time to reply it’s very much appreciated. I thought I was coping OK but the last few weeks with packing and worrying about dad have taken its toll and I feel right back to square one again. If it wasn’t for my mum and my two little dogs I think it would have finished me. Sorry if I sound as though I’m feeling sorry for myself but I just don’t know how to cope and have no one to off load with don’t want to upset mum so keep it inside.
No need to ever apologise for posting how you feel. This is what this site is for and I’ve done it many, many times. You have had to deal with so much over this last year that you should be proud of yourself for keeping going and supporting your mum and dad at the same time.
I expect your two little dogs have needed a lot of looking after as well!
How do you get the heart for likes on your post I can’t work it out
So very sorry for all you’ve been through Misprint. On top of everything else losing your house must be so hard for you.
My heart truly goes out to you.
I’m glad you have your mum and your two little dogs. They’ll need you to love and support them.
Look after yourself.
Keep offloading your worries on here, there are so many of us suffering with our loss and we do understand.
You just have to click on the “heart” on someone’s post.
Thanks I don’t seem to get me on mine didn’t know if I have to do something in settings
You have hearts on there, but they don’t seem to appear until after the time you’re given to edit your posts x
I’m so sorry for all you’ve gone through, it seems you haven’t had time to process and grieve each event with so much happening so fast. My husband also died on August 12 last year (we are the saddest twins x) and I am struggling as we approach that date, this time last year the whole house caught covid, we weren’t all that sick, little did we know the repercussions.
I am trying to be strong for our kids, but my head is flooded with awful memories and what ifs, please take of yourself x
Indeed August 12th won’t be a good day for either of us.
Don’t want to see anyone that day just have a day of reflection. It’s strange but una stubbs also died that day and I have a photo of her and my husband together when we met her in Cornwall just before how strange they died the same day.
I don’t really know what to do that day, don’t want to see anyone either but the children are on school hols so I won’t be alone, but I don’t want to make it any harder on them either. I think the day before will be just as bad as that was my last real day of normality, of happiness as we all went about our day, going to work, coming home, eating dinner, such mundane things that I would give anything to have again. I don’t know that would be our last day, out last night together and our little family would be smashed to pieces. I have taken the 11th off work as I’m feeling myself beginning to struggle already.
That’s very strange about your husband and Una Stubbs, and you having a photo of them together, I’m here if you need me x
I haven’t visited this Community for a while, and just spotted your post. The first anniversary of a hubby’s death is difficult. You have had such a difficult year and losing your home must be ‘the last straw’. Hold on to the precious pictures and your husband’s watch. You will treasure those.
My husband died on 7th July last year and I wasn’t sure how I would cope on my own on the anniversary day - all my family live a long way from me. I decided to have a quiet day, mostly on my own. I have a Christian faith so I went to church and said prayers for him. I also visited his grave and placed fresh flowers and a message from all his family. I had a video call with my son and his family who live abroad. We talked about his Dad and my little granddaughter talked about her granddad. In the evening I sat with my neighbour outside in her garden. We reminisced and talked about my husband, shared a bottle of wine and drank a toast to his memory. It was lovely to talk about my husband and I always encourage friends and relatives to talk about him and share memories. I don’t want to forget him and it helps me when others also remember him. I look back on the past year and think that I haven’t achieved much. There was a lot of ‘paper work’ to sort out and probate to obtain. But on the ‘plus side’ I have survived, and I’m still here. I think that hubby would be happy that I have coped on my own.
So, try to stay positive. Remember the good times that you and your husband had together. Decide how you want to spend the first anniversary day - this might change or evolve as it gets closer. I was happy with the way I spent my first anniversary day. Quiet, reflective, shared happy memories and not entirely on my own.
We’re all here to support each other. Look after yourself, and your parents and little dogs. xx
Thank you mogs for your kind words. It’s getting harder the closer it gets but I don’t think it will make any difference if it’s the first or second it will always be the same I miss him so much that will not change no matter how long it is. Yes I’m had a rotten year. I’m nearly all packed up just a few more things to sort . I just hope hubby’s watching over me and I’m not letting him down moving from our home that he always said I would be able to stay here after he died. It’s so hard having to make big dissions on your own. Also in September I’m going on holiday that was booked for last year but I didn’t go because he had just died . That also will be hard without him where we used to go every September. Nothing is the same anymore. Take care xx