Hello fellow mourners 
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We have permission from the school where my dad volunteered for 45 years to have a commemorative bench put in the grounds and a plaque placed on the wall in the school library.
I research things to within an inch of their life, and will be making sure that we are happy with the company we choose, the materials, the wording… everything.
But it’s taking me a while to get going. Basically because I’ve taken my dad’s place in looking after 3 people (including myself) and 4 houses. So I’ve been a bit strapped for time.
So, wondering whether any of you lovely people could share any knowledge, wisdom and experience you have on the topic.
With much gratitude
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What a lovely idea @Burgled 
I’m just giving your thread a gentle bump in case anyone should have some wisdom to share.
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It is so lovely that the school have agreed to this. I rather envy you for being able to have a permanent memorial to your father. I did look into the idea of having a commemorative bench or plaque for our son in one of our local parks, but was told that they were no longer doing this as they had no space left. I also looked into the possibility of having a bench by the canal (my son lived very close to the Grand Union), but then worried that the bench might be vandalised. Hopefully in a school setting the bench and plaque for your father will be well looked after and you can visit them regularly. I discovered the National Trust have a scheme where you can sponsor a tree in memory of a loved one, but you can’t have a plaque, you can’t scatter the ashes under the tree (as far as I know) and you can’t choose where the tree is planted, so it could be hundreds of miles away, which seems crazy. I think we will end up putting some of my son’s ashes under a tree in the local crematorium gardens, where hopefully we can have some sort of headstone. We will keep some for our own garden to sprinkle under roses and scatter some in different significant areas around the country. Sorry I don’t any advice to give on the actual design and wording for your memorials, although personally I think just a few well chosen words work best. I do hope someone on this forum can give you some more ideas.
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Thank you for your lovely reply, @Whydidhedie
It did take a bit of thought, on where we should have a bench. Dad also helped out a lot at the local church, but being in the town centre as it is, I thought it might not be as immune to vandalism. And the school has been wonderful with us. I recently accepted an award on my dad’s behalf, after they nominated him for a County-wide governing excellence award 
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That’s a shame that the parks aren’t able to support your wishes. Is there space for a plaque near the canal? That would be more resistant to vandalism than would a bench, I feel.
Sprinkling under roses in your garden sounds perfect , as well as in important places in the country. We have my dad’s ashes at home. I had been encouraging him to think about what we should do with his dad’s ashes, which are also still at home.
Thank you again for your reply .
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