Had a reasonable day but although I’m usually ok in the evenings I’m in such a state tonight. I’m shaking all over and the panic is making it worse. It’s six weeks tomorrow I lost my beloved and I’m worse now than then
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Dear @Woolly I am so sorry for your loss. You are at such an early stage and the panic, crying, sadness and physical pain are all part of the unwanted journey. I am 19 months in and the best advice I received was on this site. Take one day at a time, do only the necessary things and allow yourself to go with your feelings. Take time to cry, scream throw things or shake. All these are valid feelings and you will find many on here will tell you the same you are not alone.
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No, definitely not alone. At this very early stage, grief swells up anywhere and at any time. All we can do is hang on in there until it blows itself out.
But these attacks eventually decrease in ferocity and frequency. Please don’t despair.
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Thank you both. I need some hope I can get through this.
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At the moment, it will be hard to see more than a day ahead. As you read more on the site, you will find a lot of support. Knowing I was not alone, was a great help for me, especially on the worst of the down days.
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So sorry for your loss. It’s very early for you still, but the panic and fear do start to get better in time. Right now, just do whatever makes you feel a little better, whether it’s going to bed very early or watching rubbish tv all night; there are no rules to this, you just have to find what makes each hour slightly more bearable. For me at that time, it was online sudoku; weird, I know, but I played it for hours just to get through the evening and not have to think.
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Thank you. I am finding the support here just what I need not to feel so alone and to know I’m not the only one feeling like this.
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I get shaking hands, butterflies in my stomach and a dry mouth. The thought of driving makes me feel ill. It just comes out of nowhere, and I feel as if I am going to have a proper panic attack. People say it’s normal at 5 weeks but it scares the hell out of me. Xx
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Scares me too Willow.
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I too am like you, it has been almost 7 weks anf feels like 7 years even longer and i shake sometimes, i am trembling inside and yes it is worse in someways than it was in the beginning, then it was shock,terror, horror now it is realisation and true sadness and grief that only time will heal. I am having some nicer days but it is all surreal and false for me , but for the sake of life i keep plodding on and my David would not want me to stay in mourning, life was precious to him and i will try my best to live my life with his memory close to my heart forever.