Complicated Grief?

Recently my counsellor suggested I may need more in depth counselling as I was showing symptoms of complicated grief.
It’s been 39 weeks since Ian passed away only seven weeks after his cancer diagnosis and yet, it still seems like yesterday. I can’t come to terms with what has happened and I just exist from day to day, with no routine at all. Tears still come and go but the sadness and sense of loss are always with me.
Has anyone else had this said to them and if so, what was the outcome? We were together for nearly 40 years, so 39 weeks seems too short a time to have come to terms with such a loss.

Take care everyone,

Julie x


I too have complicated grief. The overwhelming sadness. The anxiety each morning the feeling that your drowning in misery. I had some counselling I have started feeling a little better. It’s small steps and allowing yourself to feel like this. Taking your husband along on the journey. I talk to mine as if he was here. He will be around you taking care of you. Accept how you feel each day Grief is a process and we have to go through each stage there are no shortcuts Don’t squash your feelings and talk. I used grief hat and phoned the Samaritans also. It is 11 months now and I will miss him for the rest of my life. I am sure I will have good days bad days and horrendous days but he would want me to move forward with life and I will honour him every step of the way. Get a little dog. I did and it he got me out of the house otherwise I don’t think I would have ever gone out again. He keeps me busy and gives me cuddles. Take care and use this forum to talk. We will all support you x

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Hi Julie,

It’s still very early days for you, I’m 3 years on & still experience your feelings but I’ve come to realise what I’m feelings is grief & loss of my husband in all the forms that takes& it’s normal & healthy.

I’ve had counselling at two different times since which has helped when I’ve sunk down.

What helped me in the end was realising I had to pull myself up by the bootlaces if you will, I started a daily routine & even though I didn’t want to do anything once I started a routine it gave me a structure to my day which helped.

Just try to remember you’ve been through an horrendous experience & it takes time for your emotions to settle.

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