After 6 years of continuous grief, this is my first step towards sharing my pain.
It is 6 years since losing my mum to a cruel and painful cancer. Two years later my dad was ripped away from me by a brain haemorrhage. I was in a bad place. Then two years ago I witnessed my husband’s accident which left him paralysed from the neck down and ventilator dependent, he is still be treated in hospital now.
This grief is unbearable, I have no relief, no solace, my coping mechanism has been to withdraw from life. But each day the pain increases.Life is grief on top of grief and now I am told that I am dealing with complicated grief.
I saw a psychologist for a year after my husband’s accident help with the trauma and PTSD but it made things worse and the loss of my mum and dad even harder to cope with. I have tried so many therapies since then but nothing works. I know everyone grieves differently, but I am hoping someone can help.
I’m so sorry - You have had so much loss and added to that the secondary loss of your hoped for life with your husband. Sometimes it does feel like there is too much to bare but hopefully sharing your story with others here will help.
We are a very supportive community and we undertake your pain.
I find getting outside and being distracted helps - and just taking it a day at a time.
Sending strength and love
Ohh marie, its so difficult to read that and you are going through something very difficult, Sometimes I feel no therapy will help and you have to rely on alternative ways to live for yourself, Please try any of the below, it may or may not work but you can try and are better for your heart and mind
Join a Yoga class and immerse yourself in meditation,
Take a trip to India if you could and go for Vipassana meditation for 10 days
If you do or do not believe in God, still go for 20 mins to a temple of church near you
Sometimes these high paid therapies don’t work and it is better to surrender to god and hope he makes it better.
I am sorry if you didn’t like any suggestions
So very sorry.
That is so much loss you have to deal with.
This is a good site to express your feelings.
People are so supportive.
Sending you big hugs.
Love,
Rose x
I am so sorry about what you have had to endure. I too, have lost my mom to cancer. That was many years ago. Just this year I lost my partner of 7 years and the daddy to my two young boys. I’m not sure how to explain the hurt or the the situation. My friend said that it was traumatic and that knowing he wasn’t okay and the news after having someone finally check for me. He was working on a roof shoveling snow and he was working hard. I knew he was going to be tired and I told him to come home, come home and sleep if you get tired. He ended up falling asleep in the vehicle and got carbon monoxide poisoning. He was taken from us on January 12th of this year. He was hard at work, he was the hardest worker, he would always get the job done. On the day of his gathering, I got a phone call saying my dad was having a seizure and it was a really bad one. My little sister and my nephew were driving to town to meet up with the the medevac, and that nobody in my family was going to make it to Tom’s gathering. So my little sister, while on the phone, said that she wasn’t sure that dad was going to make it through this one. His eyes were not dilating and he had blood coming out from everywhere. I know that’s a lot of info. But it was also traumatic. However my dad came out of it and is okay. He does have complications, the doctors say he has dead spots in his brain and that he’s never going to get better from it. But when I talk to my dad he seems like he’s pretty, pretty okay and there at least compared to before he started getting help. I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost him on the day that I was doing my partners gathering. I feel like I might be depressed I can’t find it in me to clean my house, or to take care of myself. My little sister, thank goodness has taken my boys and has had them for the last two and a half weeks. I feel like it has given me a good window here to grieve. But being alone, like really alone has been really very hard, and just overwhelming, and reading your story has really made me feel like I’m not alone. Thank you for sharing. I’m going to, do some laundry, and take a shower. Right now. Please take care of yourself. And I hope it gets better for you.
That is an overwhelming amount of worry and trauma to experience.
Sending you a very, very big hug.
Rose x