Compounded Grief

Hello Everyone, I am feeling overwhelmed. Today would have been my mother’s birthday. She died 6 years ago to lung cancer. Since her death my younger sister and I always honored her birthday together, and supported each other through it. This year I am also without my younger sister because she too died of cancer on the 3RD of May, 2018. The number 3 now applies to of both of them and I question the significance.
I have another sibling but she was not close with the family, and offers no support. To her it is just another day. I feel so lost and disconnected with no one to share the history I had with my mother. Now I am mourning two of the most important people in my life. I know my mother & sister are together now, but I am all alone and have essentially lost my entire family. Just needed to vent. Thank you.

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I’m reading your message and I am overwhelmed with sadness for you. It’s so unfair. There is no fix to grief. How I wish there was. When we are young so much of this is unknown. Your not taught how to cope. The hardest thing is feeling your world had stopped and yet everyone else’s is continuing. Sending you a hug x

Hi I’m so sorry for your loss. I know there is nothing I can say but you are not alone, we all feel that life is so very unfair and cruel. You are in my thoughts. Take care and keep reading and posting it does help. Big hugs. Kay. Xxx


It is not surprising that you are feeling overwhelmed today, all these firsts are so difficult. You are getting through the day minute by minute and that is all you can do. I too have been through my mums and sisters birthdays without either of them so just wanted to say thinking of you. Have you been busy with work or have you been able to take some time for yourself today?

Dear Falling Star and Everyone who responded to my sadness, I thank you. Each of you offered words of comfort, and I was so moved to come back to the site to find all of the support from so many of you (all going through your own struggle as well). I know there will be many hard days ahead, as I mourn both my little sister and my Mum. I will return here, because since losing my sister in May, it is here I find the most kindness and caring. I hope I am able to give back to all of you as well. We are all here for each other. Xx Sister2

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Hi JayDee, Yes I did go to work on that day, however I was totally unfocused and tearful, but remaining home would have been worse. I am so sorry to hear you also had to be without your mum and sister on their birthdays. Sadly, this will always be something we must face each year. Thank you. Sister2

That’s very true because unless you have experienced this yourself you really have no idea. I think back to the times I’ve said to people “ sorry for your loss “ and then just gone on with my life. Although I lost my father to cancer 9 years ago it’s nothing compared to loosing Ian who was a fit and well 56yr old man. Sending you love and hugs. Kay. Xx

Yes Kay life can be so unfair and cruel to take away those we love and cherish.
Thank you for your kindness. Xxx Sister2