Here I am, posting at odd times again but I guess with grief, time really has no meaning… A friend of mine shot himself last night and died. I’m amazed that I have anymore room to grieve, but somehow I do. Thing is, he really wasn’t a close friend but we had a connection and I was beginning to think we might actually become close friends.
I’m not sure why the connection was so strong. Perhaps it’s because he was the first person in a while that I could talk to that wasn’t around when my wife died. Our foundation was post Chris (my wife’s name). My first attempt to break out of my shell, and it couldn’t have ended in a worse way.
I mean I’m OK, sort of. My heart is just so full of pain already. I’m getting pretty good at trying to deal with this particular emotion that is so all consuming so I’m sure I’ll be fine in a few days but man, sometimes it feels like you just can’t catch a break, you know?
I’m really beginning to hate April. That’s when my stepson and my wife passed, in April. I find that interesting because when we were all together, April was one of our favorite months. And my stepson’s birthday was in April as well.
I’m going to miss my friend. He was a work acquaintance as well and we were working as a team together to make both our jobs easier. But anyway, I just needed to write it out to get a feeling for what I’m feeling. None of this is easy. One day at a time . . .
Thanks for listening and I wish you peace