Confused and lost

Hi I have been a widow for 4 years now. Recently met a wonderful man who has been divorced for 20 years. Things have been going great and we have fallen in love with each other. The thing is I’m a bit scared about my feelings and emotions. I talk about my late husband George when I feel a bit overwhelmed and my partner has been great until now. He says maybe I’m not ready for anything serious. I want to have a relationship with this man but he has backed off a bit. I’m so sad and miss him. Please help x😪

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Hi holly what is it thats scareing you emotionally. The fear of another loss, guilt at moving on, what if it doesnt work out. From my point of view these would be my questions. Although I dont picture myself going two rounds at loss. However if your fear holds you back you may live with the regret of losing this love. I believe people come into our lives for reasons. This man may be able to offer you what you are missing. If you are upset by his backing off you clearly dont want to lose him. Grab the bull by the horns and jump on for the ride. No point living in fear of what might have been when it might just turn out to be everything you needed
Enjoy this new chapter for what it is. You only live once😊


Yes I think I’m scared of losing him also. I know my husband would want me to be happy and not be lonely. My partner says he loves me but says he needs some space. I think I may have lost him too and it just devastating :sleepy: I want to give my partner the relationship that we both deserve. But frightened of it not working out. Can’t stand the thought of losing another loved one

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After my husband died, I found a video he had downloaded called Regrets. In it, it says ‘We don’t die regretting the things that we do, we die regretting the things that we don’t do.’ Which I guess is pretty true.

Yes that’s very true, I know I will regret losing my partner if I don’t let go

Tell your partner your worries and how you would like for u both to go forward. If he doesnt know your fears how can he understand

I did tell him I was scared to lose him, but I don’t want to come across as helpless and insicure

Well if the love is equal he will understand that any relationship is warts and all.
Hopefully he will get this.

Yes I hope so, he had been so supportive at the beginning, but I feel that he doesn’t understand that I will have my off days. If he can’t accept this then maybe he is not right for me

This is a possibilitie Hollieblue go with what your gut tells you to do. Our instinct often shows us. If you feel its worth fighting for then do so. But dont hide away how you feel to suit someone else. Your happiness matters

Dear Hollyblue,
What is that saying? Oh yes . . . . .’ it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all!’
Go for it girl. You know you want to. And good luck. Life is to be lived.

Thanks that means a lot, but I’m afraid it might be too late. Haven’t spoken to him for 2 days :sleepy:

Dear Hollyblue,
I think if your new partner wants to stop the world so you can get back on then he needs to realise that you haven’t got your sea legs back properly. Patience, understanding and honesty are the 3 pillars.
He needs to be patient, understanding how your grappling with the emotional guilt and honesty in his feelings for your relationship.
I think it’s good to love again, because you can love the 2 people in your life. Your late husband who cannot change any outcome and your new partner who can. I totally get the wareaty of releasing yourself to the danger inherrant, but until you fight for what you want, to be happy. It’s not a lot to ask for I don’t think a little happiness for yourself. But it does seem that we have to pay the price for it…

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Thanks everyone for their help. Much appreciated xx

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