Confused feelings

My father passed a week ago now, It doesn’t feel like a week it feels like it was hours ago, I keep getting flashbacks of it and at night when I cared for him the most I just feel empty sadness and I can’t sleep, I can’t organise the funeral right now because of Covid19 no one wants to go because they don’t want to put the self or family at risk. I came on here because I’m scared of these feelings I’ve never felt them I’m always so positive and happy now I’m socially distancing from everyone and crying I can’t keep up with my feelings and emotions.

Dear Mazali,
Those feelings you describe sound completely normal for someone who has just lost a loved one, especially when you have cared for them. Nights are often worse than days. It must be extra hard with the whole virus situation and not being able to make preparations for the funeral or meet up with others for support. It is good you have come to this forum, post as often as you need. There is alwayys a listening ear and a person who will respond knowing what it is like to grieve. Sending you a big virtual hug.
Jo

Thank you for your reply, This is all new to me. Minds can be powerful things but I’m trying to carry on and not being able to go out is frustrating, I need to breath.

Welcome Mazali. You are among friends here.
There are no rules about how you are supposed to feel when you lose someone dear to you.
However you feel is right for you, because you and your circumstances are unique
You can go out, as long as you stay away from others and a change of scene might be good for you.
The problem for all of us, those left behind, is the images we carry from those last days or hours. We will always have them, I think, but they get easier to bear.