It’s been a while since I’ve messaged! After losing my dad in January life’s been a rollercoaster of emotions! I’m sometimes stairing at photos of my dad and hurt so much other times I’m so numb I have know feelings at all as if this person was not dad didn’t know him just a picture of somebody! It’s times like that I hate myself as if I shouldn’t be like that selfish/horrible person! I just can not believe/accept that my dad has gone 4ever and will never see him again! I’m taking antidepressants which are helping me but I just don’t feel normal as if I should have some kind of acceptance of him gone by now that I should have moved on if that’s the right way to say it! I know dad wouldn’t want me being like this but like I said sometimes it’s just he didn’t even exist! Has anyone else felt like this or am I just in a dream world hoping it’s been one hell of a knightmare and I will see him again he is still alive?!