I’ve posted on here several times about how I feel about losing Jo. The last time I posted it was to say that I’d come to terms with her going and because of circumstances I was trying to move on and how I felt guilty about how I felt. Now I feel that I’m about to contradict myself because I’ve had an awful day. Of course I can’t stop thinking about her but now I want to cry again. I thought I was over that part. I realise its somewhat different but when my parents died, my father 40 years ago and my mum 30 years ago ( I’m 70 now } I didn’t think it was possible to feel such pain, until now. Now Jo’s gone . I’ve no idea whats going on in my head. All I know is I hate it.
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Peter I am also in my 70s and we have lived and loved along time - some days for me are less awful after nine months on my own but on some days I don’t see the point of carrying on - we have lost the purpose for being here. Try and focus on the family you have around you or friends and be a little bit productive with your time / go for a walk meet people if you can or just volunteer- I find that doing for others helps pass the time and hopefully one day we will think I have had a good day. Hope for acceptance of our situation is all we have - I will never stop loving my husband and our life together but I think about my grandchildren and how they would feel if they thought I had given up on life - there are such a lot of sad grieving people in this world but we have to get through it by living - Do your best and everyone on here is with you
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Thank you Sanbay and Tillwemeetagain for you replies.
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She could be very difficult to live with , like all of us at times I suppose, but I didn’t just love her, I adored her and whatever she did was fine by me I wasn’t going anywhere.
Peter my husband was 17 when I met him and through the years we have evolved together - not always in agreement with big decisions but it was learning to accept one another’s difference and moving on makes for a great marriage. At this time I only remember the best of him which is good and it is some comfort but as the time goes on and the months pass the future looks abit bleak because I miss him more each day. Never being in this position before is sometimes frightening but I try and focus on the children and grandchildren and they want to get on with their lives and it is in away uplifting to be around their enthusiasm. I hope you are doing ok and it gives you some comfort that if you want to you can off load on here. We have to learn to walk with grief and carry it along side us -keep going x
We very rarely argued .I’m a person that hates confrontation besides for so much of her life she was unwell and I was always conscious of that and aware that maybe it was because of that that she could be difficult to live with. It was second time round for both of us. I’d come out of a 20 year unhappy marriage and Jo and I were together for 28 years. I found my divorce harrowing to say the least but I never regretted my decision to move in with her. To my lasting regret I haven’t got any children. My first wife didn’t want them and although she would have made a wonderful mother Jo couldn’t have children. Her four brothers have always supported me over the years because they felt that I was doing my best to look after their sister. Reading this back it makes her sound horrible and me sound like a saint. It wasn’t like that and that certainly isn’t my intention. You’re quite right Sanbay I suppose I am using this to off load. Not sure if thats what I should be doing but I suspect like a lot on here that have lost a long term partner odd things keep coming into my head and I feel the need to tell somebody. I’m on the wrong side of 70 and although I’m luckier than some as I’ve got her family and some great friends around me I’m not looking forward to a life living alone. I don’t know where all those years have gone. It seems you blink and they’ve gone. All I know is I miss her with all my heart. Thank you for listening.
Yes I miss my husband -this morning already I have been up since 6am made up my grandsons packed lunches they are 15 and13 -my daughter went through a bitter divorce ten years ago and my husband and I have helped her bring up her boys - I then drove them to school which is a twenty mile round trip - called for a paper and something for their evening meal and now I am having a coffee and sharing a biscuit with my dog. My daughter and grandsons live with me now and I keep busy and when I go into our bedroom at night I just lie and think about all the memories we built over 51 years of Marriage- some are happy and some are sad I miss them all - I too am on the wrong side of 70 but I try and get on with today and let tomorrow take care of itself -I am off loading now because I am on my own apart from the dog until 5pm when the boys and my daughter come back - I hope you have a reasonable day (that is all we can expect) I don’t think we can look for happiness just a little contentment. S.