Hello, my lovely wife of almost 32 years died very suddenly on 4th January. Thanks to a backlog of PMs to be performed, I was only able to register her death today. When filling in the online form for “Tell us once”, I had the awful feeling that it was me who was consigning her to history. That brought still more tears!
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@Nimrod , hi so sorry for your loss. …yes it does seem as if we are wiping away our partners lives, At such a traumatic time , I remember when having to phone companies and trying to explain my husband has died, I felt like it was someone else talking , not me , how could those words come out of my mouth . I was always breaking down and crying . And if the other person on the phone was especially nice I ended up sobbing . It’s over two years since my husband died , and I still haven’t done all the so called paperwork . Xtake carex
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You do feel that you are consigning your loved one into history. Rev Coles (from the tv) names it widowmin the admin of becoming a widow. . His book the madness of grief is a helpful read you can get it from your local library .
You have a lengthy and difficult time ahead of you to try and answer unanswered questions about cause of death.
Hold your self kindly .
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Rev Cole’s is 4 years on and he describes his grief experience as a continued hard slog and I’m only a few months in and I believe him.
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@Nimrod I felt exactly the same thing
I did the tell us once, then cancelled her district nurses rotation, palliative care, the mobility vehicle, council tax
It hit me how easy it was - “sorry for your loss, we’ve removed her from the system” 
just like that deleted from existence
Very bitter pill to swallow
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I did Tell Us Once by phone; I just wanted a person there to acknowledge John’s death and to say his name, which made it seem a lot less remote and impersonal.